DOLT OF THE DAY

[dlevere]

Man Mistakes Real Gun For BB Pistol, Shoots Friend In His Ass

LOTHIAN, Md. (WJZ)—Prank gone wrong. A Virginia man is charged with second-degree assault and reckless endangerment after police say he shot a man in lower torso with what he believed was a BB gun.

It happened just before 4 a.m. Wednesday in a home in 1300 block of Burton River Road in Lothian, Anne Arundel County.

The victim, a 21-year-old male from Edgewater, was asleep when 22-year-old Patrick Stapleton, of Ashland, Va., attempted to pull a prank.


Police say Stapleton grabbed a .40 caliber handgun, which he believed was a BB gun, and fired one round at the victim while he slept, striking him in the ass.

The handgun is legally owned by the homeowner’s son, who was not determined to be involved in the shooting.

The actual homeowner was not present during the incident.

The victim remains at Prince George’s Hospital Center, where he is being treated for non-life threatening injuries.

The investigation is ongoing.

One question remains...WTF is he wearing? LMAO

[47iscool]

He looks just like DJ Squalls!

[dlevere]

DOLT OF THE DAY

Today's episode of "Naked man throwing things and smashing things before being shot" is brought to us by the letters P, C, and P

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Police say a naked man punched the windshield of a police car in north Philadelphia and was then shot and critically injured by the office sitting inside the vehicle.

Lt. John Stanford said an officer spotted the nude man shortly after 5 A.M. Saturday in the Nicetown-Tioga neighborhood, throwing large rocks and a large metal newspaper box and even laying in the street in front of a city bus.

He says the man struck the driver's side door of one police vehicle and punched the windshield of another, shattering it and showering glass onto the interior.

Stanford said the officer in the driver's seat fired through the windshield, hitting the man in the right chest and elbow. He was taken to Temple University Hospital in critical but stable condition.

[Pyriel]

Reminds me of a piece I read in the paper shortly after I moved to Tampa. The article raised more questions than it answered. At the time, I thought what it detailed was unusual, but it turned out the bizarre happens daily around that area.

A trucker driving down I-75/275 around 3 A.M. picks up a hitchhiker. You might think that's only mildly risky, except this hitchhiker was thumbing a ride while walking naked down the interstate. They get about half a mile down the road when the hitchhiker overpowers the driver, and ejects him from the vehicle, presumably into traffic. Mister Nude drives the truck another 1/8th of a mile, then gets out, runs back to Trucker, and starts beating the shit out of him. After that point in the article, it was apparently trimmed for space in an aggressive way. The next sentences described how Nude and Trucker, on friendly terms again, wound up at a convenience store 3 miles away, and Nude was apprehended after throwing one of those massive, stone ash trays through the front window.

There was no Why or How given for any of it. Why was the hitchhiker there? Why was he naked? Why did he try to steal a semi? Why did he ditch it in favor of kicking the trucker while his junk waved around in the streetlight? Did they get from the side of the interstate to a 7-11 in a Peter Griffin vs. Giant Chicken manner? How were they reconciled during that time? Had they agreed to rob the convenience store together? Why wasn't Trucker arrested? Or was he, and that detail was left out? Did they leave his truck on the interstate?

[dlevere]

That's a funny and weird story, Pyriel. Stuff like that happens in Philadelphia all of the time.

[dlevere]

Man found face down in shipment of red chile

Man with tequila bottle found face down in shipment of red chile


CBP finds Mexican man in shipment of red chile.

EL PASO, TX

U.S. Customs and Border Protection Office of Field Operations found a man lying face down in a shipment of red chile at the Columbus, N.M. port of entry.

"CBP agriculture specialists were initiating an examination of a commercial shipment of chile when they found a man sprawled out on top of the load," said Columbus Port Director Robert Reza. "There was a bottle of tequila next to him and he appeared to be highly intoxicated when we encountered the subject."

The 35-year-old Mexican man told CBP officers he climbed into the commercial hopper while it was being staged in Mexico with the hope of catching a ride to Chicago.

CBP officials say his trip lasted about 100 yards when CBP officers found him.

The man, whose name has not been released, was processed for expedited removal and returned to Mexico. CBP agriculture specialists continued their exam without incident and released the shipment and notified the importer that a man was in the shipment.

[dlevere]

Drunk, naked man fought officer in hospital

"Mr. Roberts was uncooperative the entire time."

That was the final summary line in a Johnson County sheriff deputy's arrest complaint for a Matthew D. Roberts, 23, of Iowa City, IA. Roberts has been charged with his second offense of operating while intoxicated and obstructing a law officer after an incident that allegedly started with Roberts colliding with an interstate highway guard rail and ended with Roberts, naked, resisting arrest as he was transported to jail after receiving treatment for a self-inflicted head wound.

According to the police complaint, Roberts was involved in a single-vehicle accident with a guardrail at the four milemarker on Interstate 380. Police say Roberts fled the accident on foot, ran through a field, and was found attempting to hitchhike away from the scene.


After officers arrived and apprehended him, Roberts "showed numerous signs of intoxication," and blew a .173 blood-alcohol content on DataMaster blood-alcohol measuring tool, although he refused a preliminary breathalyzer test, according to the complaint. The report states officers found an open Seagram's 7 bottle spilled inside the vehicle as well as an open beer.

While the officer was en route with Roberts in the back seat of the squadcar, Roberts allegedly proceeded to headbutt the back cage of the car, causing a laceration on his head that began to bleed. Roberts then smeared blood throughout the backseat of the squadcar, according to the complaint.

Then, when Roberts was transported by the officer to the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics to receive stitches for his head, he "thought it appropriate to remove his pants" in the emergency room waiting room, and "caused a scene," according to the complaint. Finally, after being discharged from the hospital, Roberts refused to get dressed, according to the complaint, twice fighting the officer while naked.

Jail records show Roberts being booked into the Johnson County Jail at 7:24 a.m. on Tuesday morning, where he remains currently. Interference with official acts is a simple misdemeanor, and the second offense of operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated is an aggravated misdemeanor.

Roberts pleaded guilty to his first operating while intoxicated offense in May 2011, according to online court records.

[Phil The Hammer]

In the area where I live, we have the infamous "Duck Tape Bandit" of 2009:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN4gwvjUe0M

Now, we have the US Govt's airlift of 2K dead mice over Guam:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow...163310851.html

The govt. has full-time dolts, not just daily ones!

[dlevere]

I saw that story about the mice in Guam yesterday.

[bungholio]

Too Clever By Half: Cops were called on two Los Angeles home-invaders, who were still on the scene when police arrived outside. The perps (who’ve seen the same movies you’ve seen) persuaded the victim-residents to tie them up, too, so that when cops entered, they’d think the perps were actually victims. Victims said, Sure. Perps appeared shocked that as soon as the cops walked through the door, the victims ratted them out (and by then of course the perps could not take off because . . they were tied up).

Simply amazing!

[dlevere]

Truly, DOLTS OF THE DAY.

[dlevere]

Meet Tom the hipster. He can't afford to go out on dates, so he wants you to pay for them. For a contribution of $15.15 you get a 'signed limited edition print' of his face. And it only gets better from there

By Siam Goorwich


This guy is proof that crowdfunding has gone too far...Yes, of course he has a beard. And tattoos. And wears waistcoats. Snore. (Picture: Indiegogo)

Meet Tom. He’s everything that’s wrong with the modern world. Pray for him.

Tom Packer is a 26 year old from Norwich, England (yes, home of Alan Partridge. How appropriate). He describes himself as ‘a cocktail bartender and… occasional writer’, and he’s looking for love.

But instead of just getting on with it like the rest of us, he’s decided to try and blag the money on crowdfunding site Indiegogo.

But why? Why can’t 26 year old Tom pay for his own sodding dates? Well, the poor little mite explains: ‘I spend my time writing and making cocktails in a local bar. This, however, means that I sadly don’t have the funds for 13 dates, especially if I want to impress the ladies.’

*Takes a deep breath*


This is Tom doing some of his occasional writing (Picture: Youtube/ Tom Packer)

Tom goes on to explain that there’s apparently some ‘formula’ going round which says it takes 13 dates to find love, so he’s trying to sponge $1,969.57, as $151.50 seems ‘a fair enough average’ for a ‘good personal date’.

No, we have no idea what a non-personal date is either.

Anyway, it gets worse...

Here are just some of the ‘rewards’ Tom is offering in exchange for your hard-earned money.

*Takes another deep breath*

$1.52 – A thank you from Tom (in the form of a ‘personal email’).

$15.15 – Signed photo. Yes, Tom the nobody from Norwich will give you a ‘signed limited edition print’… of his FACE.

$151.50 – A guaranteed date with Tom (in London… travel not included). But, as Tom points out ‘You could be The One’. Vom.

$758.40 – A date and a poem.

Yes – for an extra $606.72 you get one of Tom’s cliché-filled poems. Just take a moment to think about that, because for $606.72 US Dollars we’d want a first edition Wordsworth, mate.


Sometimes Tom likes to sit on benches stroking his beard while his friends film him in black and white (Picture: Youtube/ Tom Packer)

And here’s the clincher…

$1515.05 – The city of love (aka. a day in Paris with Tom). Which despite YOU having donated (i.e. paid) $1515.05 for, Tom has the audacity to describe as, ‘I’ll take you to Paris’. No mate, the sucker ‘donating’ a grand to your apparent love quest is the one taking YOU.

Yes, from his slack work ethic, to his hipster-by-numbers look and cringe-inducing narcissistic outlook (seriously, who has the audacity to offer people signed pictures of their own bloody face?!), Tom really does manage to cram all the worst aspects of modern life into a too-tight waistcoat.

What a douche.

[dlevere]

Devon Staples, 4th of July idiot killed trying to launch fireworks off his head

By Rob Beschizza



A fellow in Maine lit a firework that he had "strapped to his head." He was killed instantly, reports WCSH. Local officials stress that fireworks are dangerous, "especially if they are not used properly."

Source

[dlevere]

A Stunt Turns Deadly For A Couple Seeking YouTube Fame

Over the past several weeks, Monalisa Perez of Halstad, Minn., and her boyfriend, Pedro Ruiz III, began their quest for YouTube fame by creating and posting videos of mostly harmless pranks: Mr. Ruiz climbing onto a tenuous tree branch and falling a short distance, or Ms. Perez feeding him a doughnut covered in baby powder rather than powdered sugar.

On Monday evening, the couple suddenly upped the ante when, the authorities say, Ms. Perez, 19, shot at a thick book that Mr. Ruiz, 22, was holding, apparently believing that the bullet would not make it through the volume.

But the high-risk stunt went horribly wrong: The bullet entered Mr. Ruiz’s chest and he died at the scene.


Monalisa Perez, 19, and Pedro Ruiz III, 22. The authorities said that Ms. Perez shot Mr. Ruiz at close range as he held a book. Credit La MonaLisa, via YouTube


Monalisa Perez

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/29/u...minnesota.html

[dlevere]

Pro tip: When stealing a car, make sure it's not a police car with a police officer in it