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During a visit to the mental asylum, someone asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug out.
Do you want a room with or without a view?"
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One afternoon the mother took his son for a walk through the park.
All of a sudden they both saw two people having sex on the park bench.
The young boy sais "Hey Mum, what are they doing?"
The mother sais "Oh dont worry, there just making a cake!"
The boy just said ok and they continued walking...
Next day the boy and his mother went for another walk throught the park and ones again they both saw two people having sex..
The boy sais "Hey mum , there making a cake again!!"
The mother said "yep they sure are son" and they continued walking...
When they were at home , the young boy could see his mother and father having sex on the couch...
40 min later the boys parents were in the kitchen cooking dinner and the young boy sais...
Hey mum and dad , i saw you two making a cake on the couch and i licked up the iceing you left behind on the couch!
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed................"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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A blonde walked into a computer shop one day and asked the shop assistant for a curtain to fit her 15 inch computer monitor. The assistant said, "Why do you want a curtain for your computer screen?"
To which the blonde replies, "I've got Windows".
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug out.
Do you want a room with or without a view?"
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One afternoon the mother took his son for a walk through the park.
All of a sudden they both saw two people having sex on the park bench.
The young boy sais "Hey Mum, what are they doing?"
The mother sais "Oh dont worry, there just making a cake!"
The boy just said ok and they continued walking...
Next day the boy and his mother went for another walk throught the park and ones again they both saw two people having sex..
The boy sais "Hey mum , there making a cake again!!"
The mother said "yep they sure are son" and they continued walking...
When they were at home , the young boy could see his mother and father having sex on the couch...
40 min later the boys parents were in the kitchen cooking dinner and the young boy sais...
Hey mum and dad , i saw you two making a cake on the couch and i licked up the iceing you left behind on the couch!
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."
He sighed................"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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A blonde walked into a computer shop one day and asked the shop assistant for a curtain to fit her 15 inch computer monitor. The assistant said, "Why do you want a curtain for your computer screen?"
To which the blonde replies, "I've got Windows".
to a blonde)"Do you smoke after sex?"
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