A Tale of Two Vandervalks... Aka An Ode to Bryan

[bfoos]

Bryan was born in a small log cabin, mysteriously created from a refrigerator box his mother and father became lost in one day. He is the firstborn child of Gurgle and Plip Vandervalk, who somehow shared a last name even prior to their wedding just after Bryan's birth. He came into the world in February, the month of Extra Chromosomes. Struggling to survive in the bitter cold, the elder Vandervalks eventually discovered they could warm themselves by burning their corrugated cabin, starting the fires with sparks made by striking rocks against their infant son's head. The Vandervalks all have burns over at least 75% of their bodies. It was at this point that Gurgle had his name changed to Burny.

The story must go on!

[saucerfoot]

Hey bfoos

why do you have to be so mean to me for?

[saucerfoot]

Hey everyone

guess what, bfoos is a very mean person to everyone inculding austim kids on the interent

he is not a very nice person at all

he picks and bullys people alot on the interent

thanks for listening

[pooface]

hey everyone

guess what, bryan is a very mean person to everyone including code hacker kids on the internet

he is not a very nice person at all

he registers 80 names on cmp and gshi and spams them with stupid posts and never contributes to any community ever

thanks for banning bryan

[Lazy Bastard]

saucerfoot (Bryan): I don't believe you're autistic. I do think you have a mental deficiency of some sort, but your mental processes don't seem to coincide with autism. More importantly, my advice to you is simple:

1. Ignore or laugh along with people making fun of you. It's just the internet, and they don't even know you in real life. Getting bummed out over it and making cries for help in response only attracts more of it.

2. Next, stop making pointless posts, and keep all of your correspondence straight and to the point. Making code requests is fine, as long as they're in the correct forum. Just get it together, man.

[Sephiroth6666]

bfoos, I'm definitely looking forward to the complete version of your story.