Free Word Stories: DSman PartyVan adventures!

[MIR]

After returning form the repair shop and getting restocked of all the joose that could fit the DSman PartyVan is ready agian to go on another fun filled adventure through the lands of the interwebs avoiding the well known hazards including, but not limited to, GSCspammers (AKA The Loyal Ordinace of the Vat of Rune), The Evil Wizard of Ashland, and strange and unuaslual spikes of slurpspiders that waste bandwidth when it is needed for sending Porn via IRC in the world of the JUPI and SuperThal.

Suddenly The Party Van crashes into a sign. Amazinly the crash repainted the PartyVan an unusal color of Grue allowing for Zorkminds to pass trough without relizing they are outdated by 20 years. The sign was a Sign that said "BEWARE: Of TROLLYTROLLY TROLLS for they make the hidious sound known as -Global- which brings pain and bloo....."It seems the sign was never finished. Leaving........

[LiquidManZero]

...skeletons of the thousands of victims who had been enslaved to work upon the sign. Conveniently, they had been fed with instant nachos and dehydrated beer, of which lots of it is still in the nearby abandoned shipping crates.

[MIR]

These shipping crates where destined to be received by the GSHI mart but is seems some asshole named Akfek fucked up the order form and thus the where by the sign.

Suddenly the CB radio on the DSman PartyVan screamed out "HALP REAP!!!". Which turned out to be a distress signal from Raccoon City that they where under seige and needed to party hard because you are not the man now, dog. They offered as a reward, 20 tonnes of grade S (Censored by the Drug Enforcement Agency) which would be stored in the GSHI HQ basement.

[LiquidManZero]

The party grabs a bunch of machine gun rocket launchers, and then decides to just nuke the city instead.

[MIR]

While this was happening Mir killed Darkserge by saying in some mIRC that Akfek was not there. This was pointed out buy another person who helped in the swift burial before the corpse ruined the Soma with burning methane.

[LiquidManZero]

"Woah dude. Akfek's not here man." DarkSerge seems to be pretty wasted off root bear again. But that's entirely unrelated, because suddenly Kwik-E-Marts have opened up and are trying to compete with GSHI Mart's nachos... By selling cheap donuts.

[MIR]

This annoys the staff at the GSHI Mart including Mir who seemed to be put in charge of inventory and stocking (how the hell?). So to compete against the Kwik-E-Marts Squeshies, Mir ordered Bawls Slurpie and offered .69c tacos to all who haven't been pissed on for years. This attracts the DSman PartyVan which needs to refuel on the Root Bear that was recently put on sale for 3 for $1.25.

[Lazy Bastard]

At this very moment, TruWizdom finishes, and uses, a device that makes everyone in the city think about him at the same time. It's unclear what the damages are, but some will never be the same.

[MIR]

Including some Anon908 who has never been the same since he was kilened and will never be the same. All is saved by the magical device known as THE MAGIC PORTER. The side effect of The Magic Porter is that every one now speaks in hexadecimal either encrypted or decrypted.

[LiquidManZero]

For no apparent reason, a Vat of Rune suddenly spawns right next door to the GSHI Mart. The smell is bad enough the entire city is evacuated.

[MIR]

The smell is so bad that the HAZMAT people abandon all effort of removing this Vat of Rune. Thus such a shame that the GSHI mart must be closed while GSC is making a killing off selling bottled water for 5 dollars per 20oz bottle.

Suddenly the Troll King who happens to look very much so like some guy named Ziggy Stardust appears. He thinks to himself "Oh My God! What is that horrible stench. I must have it for my Bog of Eternal Stench. Oh god that smells bad."

As quickly as he appeared, he disappears in a fashion well known to people from the 80's. Then the some Fraggle appears to take the vat to the Bog of Eternal Stench under orders of "The one who looks like Bowie".

The GSHI mart was left closed for a period of 30 days for the EPA to give the clearance to move back in, Also they requested a Environmental Impact Report for the strange and unusual technology that GSHI has. The head CEO who was exceptionally Lazy today told them to "Fuck Off" before he went to sleep ZzZzZz.

Then he EPA noticed the DSman PartyVan. They wanted to make an emission report on it. When Dualscreen Man stopped humping the steering wheel long enough to notice these odd looking men who looked like NARCs cried out "OMG, ONOZ 4CHANPARTYVAN" and pushed the gas 40% down and speed off going ###MPH.

[LiquidManZero]

dsman thinks about this whole running away from the FBI situation, and realizes one thing is missing: car chase music. He pops in a special 8-track tape that actually contains all music ever created, and turns the volume up to 11.

[MIR]

This is when -Global- starts saying "BEEP" "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" "ima computar; i goez to sleepz" causing the FBI to lose track of the DSMan Party Van.

[Dualscreenman]

Back at the control center, I say "let's get this show on the fucking road". and send the partyvan into super-saiyan ninja ultra longcat mode.

[MIR]

So away to Tokyo the ParyVan went not realizing that it was under attack by a giant bottle of ASHAI.