Free word stories..... Ace Style

[MIR]

When you place your order, our trained ninja delivery team springs into action, ensuring that no matter where you are, you'll get your order, hot and tasty, in 30 minutes or less. Guaranteed, or we commit seppuku.

[Dualscreenman]

Or hari-kari, doesn't really matter.

[Lazy Bastard]

In fact, it's the customer's choice. You can make an order with Katana Kafe from an airplane, from inside a cave, or under the ocean in a top-secret laboratory; it doesn't matter. 30 minutes, or most disagreeable suicide, on video. And if we don't get the video to you in 30 minutes, we'll deliver food to someone.

[LiquidManZero]

As an extra bonus, if you can catch the ninja delivering your food after he's delivered it, he'll give you a special prize ranging from the secret menu to large ingots of gold.

[Lazy Bastard]

Incidentally, most of the other things in the "range" between menus and gold are lethal. Katana Kafe and its parent company, GSHI, are not responsible for death or injury due to improper capturing of a ninja.

[LiquidManZero]

Oddly enough, ninjas operate another subsidiary of GSHI, generally known as The Donut's The Bowling.

[MIR]

Who's main competitors are the Pirates that own a subsiderary of GaySexCentral. Their specialty is Vat of Rune.

[LiquidManZero]

Unfortunately for the local residents, the Vat of Rune smells worse than rotting pig feces.

[Dualscreenman]

And as thus is only ordered by the worst of retards.

[Lazy Bastard]

All allegory for GSC visitors aside, GSHI will be giving out hard liquor to attractive women and un-lame dudes, at Insane Bastard Park, off of 3rd Avenue, this Saturday. Any underaged persons will be ejected from the park, but the bouncer will slip you a bottle on the low. See you there!

[MIR]

When all of a sudden, there came a splash of lightning! It was the Admin at GameFAQ asking for our souls!

[LiquidManZero]

The man from GameFAQs came in a giant robot branded with CNET and GameSpot logos. He gave the ultimatum to be assimilated or die.

[Dualscreenman]

He could not find the kill button, however, due to the aforementioned advertisement stickers plastered everywhere.

[MIR]

Just then a communist from a Gamestop in canada came and mucked the ninja's plans up causing Mir to run to find Munky. It seems Munky is in the middle of a battle with 5 very rich goblins with blue bumpy balls as weapons.

[LiquidManZero]

It seems the goblins are really tanukis in goblin suits, and the blue bumpy balls are in fact their own hueg testicles, painted blue.