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K-Fed's debut album smashes the charts, coming in at #1,908 on Amazon.com. You'll love the reviews :P
The Monkees for 2006 with less talent, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: John Hedley (Kirkland, WA United States)
I was forced to listen to this recently when a friend's kid subjected us to it. Look people, there are two kinds of music out there:
1) Music made by talented people who love music and want to share it with the world.
2) Music manufactured by corporate zombies at the record companies for the sole purpose of exploiting kids who buy the stuff.
Guess which category this dog falls into?
Sometimes the lyrics don't matter, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: raboof (Seattle, WA USA)
Yes, the lyrics are dumb. Yes, his delivery is flawed. No, this isn't a terrible album.
Sometimes what you're looking for in music is something meaningless to drone on in the background while you focus on the task at hand. How are you going to concentrate with the angry, message-laden music of DMX, Tupac, or PE? Can you really keep your mind focused with the uplifting lyrics of "positive rappers" like ATCQ or Blackalicious or the party beats of the Dirrty South? The answer is no, naturally.
Some plain old boring rap with a heavy beat and an over-emphasized bassline is what you're jonesing for, and K-Fed's album is the dealer on the corner with what you need. The question is, have you've got the guts to get down and dirty in his world or are you too afraid of being seen with the man.
Only once in a lifetime does a musical star shine so bright, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: J. Chevalier (Smithville, MO)
Today I went out and bought this album. My CD player in my car thanked me as soon as I inserted the cd. I turned the stereo up to full blast, and all the people were staring at me and thinking "Dang, that guy is pimpin" I am so blessed to be living in the era of Federline. My grandpa had Lawrence Welk, my dad had the Beatles, and I have Federline.
An artist for all seasons, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Daniel Peters
Mr. Federline does it again with this beatiful masterpeice. His lyrics evoke a sweet longing and show what a complex and deep man is behind the words. Songs like "Dance with a Pimp" and "Middle Finger" will go down through the ages as true masterworks of the craft. The subtle mixture of complex and throbbing rhythms and deep insightful lyrics bring tears to the eye. Truly his finest work out of an already impressive catalog.
Down with Lebron, all hail King K-Fed, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Long Nguyen (Los Angeles, CA)
Listening to this soon-to-be 9x platinum album has made me a better person. Kevin Federline's lyrical skills make Nas sound like Helen Keller with Post-Concussion Syndrome. An album of this nature only comes along once every Hale-Bopp. The youth of America will need to reevaluate their lives immediately because nothing they will ever do will stand up to this monumental human achievement.
Men, keep your sisters, mothers, and spouses away at all costs--even the droned bass and subtle, yet characteristic hi-hat from the album's bonus track, "Middle Finger" will cause instantaneous aural orgasm and widespread infidelity. The album has its fair share of club bangers and panty droppers, but it is the album's politically-tinged track, "Dance with a Pimp" that takes center stage. It is a scathing critique of Latin American authoritarian regimes and an indictment of United States foreign policy. Not since Rawls has an American so eloquently identified the key tenants to the abstract notions of justice and liberty. The raw emotion and unadulterated passion in K-Fed's voice prompted my roommate to touch himself upon first listen as tears rolled down his face. In closing, there is no reason for anyone to ever release another CD ever again. Music has met its match and his name is God, I mean Kevin.
Give him a break!, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Music Lover "Music Lover" (California, USA)
Give the guy a break! If he wasn't married to Britney, I bet people would give him a chance and not ridicule him to no end! I bought the cd today! While it may not be the best cd ever made, it's not as bad as some either......I won't name names.......good going, Kev from a MALE fan!
The worst album in the last 20 years, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Abomination to god "Yvan Eht Nioj" (Folsom)
Well folks, here is a true story. About 3 weeks ago a friend of my sister was invited to a listening party over Los Angeles. Her friend works in a radio station their and said there is going to be some celebrities and some people in the up and up in music, so by some reason I'm still quite sure how it happened, possibly parental nagging, I went to this party not knowing really what to expect and being an open minded music fan actually made it kind of interesting.
At the party, I heard some DJ going around telling every one to expect big things from an up and coming artist, so later on I was appalled when this up and coming artist was..............Mr Britney Spears HImself Kevin Federline.
Naturally I wanted to bail faster than a guy in a high speed chase then all of a sudden it clicked, I could listen to the album and actually go ahead and bash this later. So the agony turned to despair and even some times comedic as many people there were thinking and saying what was on every bodies mind, is this a joke?
So listening to this abomination I was just laughing when I told someone that Vanilla Ice would be proud that someone was holding his torch alive and then someone from his crew threatened to kick me out and I did leave after many people left in disgust and annoyed at what I saw and heard too, just because you marry someone big, wont meen that people will put up with your joke of a life.
Im mean this album had some of the worst production and skills ever. Basically his songs are, yeah, Ilive the high life cuz I married Britney, Im from Fresno and Im a gangsta. So after I left the party, feeling dirty and actually wanting to puke, I got my sister, her friend went home and to try to salvage part of life that shamefully I will never get back so to calm my self , I got my Celtic Frost To Mega Therion album, crank the stereo up went home.
Now thanks to this event I think Im suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and hopefully I will forget this soon and alcohol will mostly help to earse it. Remembered, I suffered so you wouldn't have to.
PS, the celebrities that were promised, never showed up, not even his wife. HA!!
Full of shit, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Reine des Coeurs "reine_des_coeurs" (New York, NY USA)
production, sensationalism, publicity and blatant pandering. The only thing missing is talent.
A Hip-Hop Classic, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: C. Wilson "jack burton" (Eugene, OR United States)
K-Fed comes in the 4th Quarter and kills 'em! This is the best album of the year and 10 years from now, after all the B.S. talk dies down, this album will go down as a Hip-Hop classic. Jay-Z was slept on, Nas was slept on, and now the trifecta is complete. Every cut is good. K-Fed is the new king of Hip-Hop! Nas and Hov better step it up.
Playing With Myself, is more like it..., October 31, 2006
Reviewer: R. J. Marques "saintricardo" (Scottsdale, AZ United States)
Being a musician, composer and producer, I thought I'd give this a listen [NO, I did NOT purchase it - I was able to screen all the tracks in their entirety on a website I encountered]. While not a big fan of rap, I do recognize and appreciate the talent of a lot of rappers, the genius of Eminem and the production prowess of Dr. Dre and other hip hop producers, so I went into this with an open mind.
YIKES...
Yes, it does remind me of Vanilla Ice's debut back in the early 90's. I listened to every cut and it was boring, annoying, repetitious, and not even remotely interesting, on any level whatsoever.
I'm not a "hater" Kevin - I think you lucked into a lucrative gig. Be the daddy, play with the babies, bounce the mommy, and drive the Ferarri - just stay out of the studio, AIIIIGHT?
Respectfully submitted-
Zero, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Ron (Jersey)
I was hoping for a surprise with this one, but all the money and the best producers can't make this sound good. Kevin has an okay voice for rap, but he is just not good at it. The songs are just bad.
The New Eminem! This cd is actually quite good. , October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Brandon Caire "Brandon" (Parkville, Maryland)
I have to give mr spears credit. He actually has a decent rap voice and his songs are very good and get stuck in your head.
He got my money for this cd. A happy Customer.
Listen to it like u didnt know he mooched off of britney and they're not married. Listen like u dont know who he is and tell me what u think.
This CD made me giggle..., October 31, 2006
Reviewer: SaraBella (SLC, UT)
then I heard the 2nd track...that made me laugh..by the 4th track I was having an athsma attack laughing so hard. By the last track I was crying that I had just lost 50 minutes of my life I will never get back.
By the way...I find it amusing that Amazon has paired this CD with Justin Timberlakes under "Better Together". Now THAT made my day, hahahahaha!
What the fuck?!, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: B. Popilek "A Hater" (Flint, MI USA)
Kevin should just be thankful that Brittney is so clueless about him and enjoy the lifesytle of the rich and not so famous husband! This album is a waste of time and money.
Try it, you'll be surprised, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Diva
I like this album, it's far more interesting than many other CDs that have be released lately. You could almost call it a concept album, the concept being a response to all of the negativity around him - basically taunting America back. But he has an interesting sense of humor about the whole situation and I like his spirit. Lots of the songs are really quite enjoyable and catchy. Some of my favorites, "Lose Control" (which he performed at Teen Choice), "Privilege" (which he performed on Jay Leno), "Crazy" with Britney Spears, and "Dance With A Pimp" with Ya Boy. The lyrics tend to be a little repetative, which is why I'm only giving it 4 stars. But overall, I recommend this album, I think most people will like it more than they expected to.
Proof that bad things happen on Halloween, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Amanda Richards "Modest to the extreme" (Georgetown, Guyana)
This former back-up dancer
Now known as Mr. Spears
Has brought us the worst album
To be released in years
Though he thinks he's Eminem
He's more Vanilla Ice
And after you've heard this one once
You wouldn't hear it twice
Just listen to the lyrics
And see if you agree
These are the worst songs ever "sung"
In all of history
The first single is "Lose Control"
A track that should be tossed
I would suggest this album
Be avoided at all cost
Maybe next year on April 1
(You'll get two for a buck)
Buy `em for an All Fool's joke
and watch your pals upchuck
Amanda Richards, October 31, 2006
Don't quit your day job (what is that again?), October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Pen Name (Columbia, SC)
I gave half of this CD a listen to see if the criticism Federline has been receiving is justified. I can quite clearly say that it is. The "beats" on this album are pretty sophmoric, but could be overlooked with good writing. There are no songs that really have a very catchy rhythm that you can enjoy, although a few have potential. The main problem with the album though is the awful lyrics:
"Im the talk of the town
Thats the reason why they stare
4 karats in my ear
If you look see a glare"
"When the pen hits the pad
It's in the left hand
Every single word is worth thirty grand"
"Every word out my mouth
Make headline news
I'm the best, I rule
Come test my tools"
Federline spends the entire album rapping about four things:
a) His wife
b) How much everyone hates him
c) How much pot he smokes / how much he gets drunk
d) How awesome he is.
I assume the fact that people are always "hatin' on him" gives him street cred and makes him tough in his eyes. I just can't understand it, as these lyrics would be laughable from ANY artist, not just him. He actually has a fairly decent voice, but it won't matter if he keeps using monosyllable rhymes that sound like they were written by a third grader.
The Monkees for 2006 with less talent, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: John Hedley (Kirkland, WA United States)
I was forced to listen to this recently when a friend's kid subjected us to it. Look people, there are two kinds of music out there:
1) Music made by talented people who love music and want to share it with the world.
2) Music manufactured by corporate zombies at the record companies for the sole purpose of exploiting kids who buy the stuff.
Guess which category this dog falls into?
Sometimes the lyrics don't matter, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: raboof (Seattle, WA USA)
Yes, the lyrics are dumb. Yes, his delivery is flawed. No, this isn't a terrible album.
Sometimes what you're looking for in music is something meaningless to drone on in the background while you focus on the task at hand. How are you going to concentrate with the angry, message-laden music of DMX, Tupac, or PE? Can you really keep your mind focused with the uplifting lyrics of "positive rappers" like ATCQ or Blackalicious or the party beats of the Dirrty South? The answer is no, naturally.
Some plain old boring rap with a heavy beat and an over-emphasized bassline is what you're jonesing for, and K-Fed's album is the dealer on the corner with what you need. The question is, have you've got the guts to get down and dirty in his world or are you too afraid of being seen with the man.
Only once in a lifetime does a musical star shine so bright, November 1, 2006
Reviewer: J. Chevalier (Smithville, MO)
Today I went out and bought this album. My CD player in my car thanked me as soon as I inserted the cd. I turned the stereo up to full blast, and all the people were staring at me and thinking "Dang, that guy is pimpin" I am so blessed to be living in the era of Federline. My grandpa had Lawrence Welk, my dad had the Beatles, and I have Federline.
An artist for all seasons, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Daniel Peters
Mr. Federline does it again with this beatiful masterpeice. His lyrics evoke a sweet longing and show what a complex and deep man is behind the words. Songs like "Dance with a Pimp" and "Middle Finger" will go down through the ages as true masterworks of the craft. The subtle mixture of complex and throbbing rhythms and deep insightful lyrics bring tears to the eye. Truly his finest work out of an already impressive catalog.
Down with Lebron, all hail King K-Fed, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Long Nguyen (Los Angeles, CA)
Listening to this soon-to-be 9x platinum album has made me a better person. Kevin Federline's lyrical skills make Nas sound like Helen Keller with Post-Concussion Syndrome. An album of this nature only comes along once every Hale-Bopp. The youth of America will need to reevaluate their lives immediately because nothing they will ever do will stand up to this monumental human achievement.
Men, keep your sisters, mothers, and spouses away at all costs--even the droned bass and subtle, yet characteristic hi-hat from the album's bonus track, "Middle Finger" will cause instantaneous aural orgasm and widespread infidelity. The album has its fair share of club bangers and panty droppers, but it is the album's politically-tinged track, "Dance with a Pimp" that takes center stage. It is a scathing critique of Latin American authoritarian regimes and an indictment of United States foreign policy. Not since Rawls has an American so eloquently identified the key tenants to the abstract notions of justice and liberty. The raw emotion and unadulterated passion in K-Fed's voice prompted my roommate to touch himself upon first listen as tears rolled down his face. In closing, there is no reason for anyone to ever release another CD ever again. Music has met its match and his name is God, I mean Kevin.
Give him a break!, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Music Lover "Music Lover" (California, USA)
Give the guy a break! If he wasn't married to Britney, I bet people would give him a chance and not ridicule him to no end! I bought the cd today! While it may not be the best cd ever made, it's not as bad as some either......I won't name names.......good going, Kev from a MALE fan!
The worst album in the last 20 years, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Abomination to god "Yvan Eht Nioj" (Folsom)
Well folks, here is a true story. About 3 weeks ago a friend of my sister was invited to a listening party over Los Angeles. Her friend works in a radio station their and said there is going to be some celebrities and some people in the up and up in music, so by some reason I'm still quite sure how it happened, possibly parental nagging, I went to this party not knowing really what to expect and being an open minded music fan actually made it kind of interesting.
At the party, I heard some DJ going around telling every one to expect big things from an up and coming artist, so later on I was appalled when this up and coming artist was..............Mr Britney Spears HImself Kevin Federline.
Naturally I wanted to bail faster than a guy in a high speed chase then all of a sudden it clicked, I could listen to the album and actually go ahead and bash this later. So the agony turned to despair and even some times comedic as many people there were thinking and saying what was on every bodies mind, is this a joke?
So listening to this abomination I was just laughing when I told someone that Vanilla Ice would be proud that someone was holding his torch alive and then someone from his crew threatened to kick me out and I did leave after many people left in disgust and annoyed at what I saw and heard too, just because you marry someone big, wont meen that people will put up with your joke of a life.
Im mean this album had some of the worst production and skills ever. Basically his songs are, yeah, Ilive the high life cuz I married Britney, Im from Fresno and Im a gangsta. So after I left the party, feeling dirty and actually wanting to puke, I got my sister, her friend went home and to try to salvage part of life that shamefully I will never get back so to calm my self , I got my Celtic Frost To Mega Therion album, crank the stereo up went home.
Now thanks to this event I think Im suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and hopefully I will forget this soon and alcohol will mostly help to earse it. Remembered, I suffered so you wouldn't have to.
PS, the celebrities that were promised, never showed up, not even his wife. HA!!
Full of shit, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Reine des Coeurs "reine_des_coeurs" (New York, NY USA)
production, sensationalism, publicity and blatant pandering. The only thing missing is talent.
A Hip-Hop Classic, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: C. Wilson "jack burton" (Eugene, OR United States)
K-Fed comes in the 4th Quarter and kills 'em! This is the best album of the year and 10 years from now, after all the B.S. talk dies down, this album will go down as a Hip-Hop classic. Jay-Z was slept on, Nas was slept on, and now the trifecta is complete. Every cut is good. K-Fed is the new king of Hip-Hop! Nas and Hov better step it up.
Playing With Myself, is more like it..., October 31, 2006
Reviewer: R. J. Marques "saintricardo" (Scottsdale, AZ United States)
Being a musician, composer and producer, I thought I'd give this a listen [NO, I did NOT purchase it - I was able to screen all the tracks in their entirety on a website I encountered]. While not a big fan of rap, I do recognize and appreciate the talent of a lot of rappers, the genius of Eminem and the production prowess of Dr. Dre and other hip hop producers, so I went into this with an open mind.
YIKES...
Yes, it does remind me of Vanilla Ice's debut back in the early 90's. I listened to every cut and it was boring, annoying, repetitious, and not even remotely interesting, on any level whatsoever.
I'm not a "hater" Kevin - I think you lucked into a lucrative gig. Be the daddy, play with the babies, bounce the mommy, and drive the Ferarri - just stay out of the studio, AIIIIGHT?
Respectfully submitted-
Zero, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Ron (Jersey)
I was hoping for a surprise with this one, but all the money and the best producers can't make this sound good. Kevin has an okay voice for rap, but he is just not good at it. The songs are just bad.
The New Eminem! This cd is actually quite good. , October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Brandon Caire "Brandon" (Parkville, Maryland)
I have to give mr spears credit. He actually has a decent rap voice and his songs are very good and get stuck in your head.
He got my money for this cd. A happy Customer.
Listen to it like u didnt know he mooched off of britney and they're not married. Listen like u dont know who he is and tell me what u think.
This CD made me giggle..., October 31, 2006
Reviewer: SaraBella (SLC, UT)
then I heard the 2nd track...that made me laugh..by the 4th track I was having an athsma attack laughing so hard. By the last track I was crying that I had just lost 50 minutes of my life I will never get back.
By the way...I find it amusing that Amazon has paired this CD with Justin Timberlakes under "Better Together". Now THAT made my day, hahahahaha!
What the fuck?!, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: B. Popilek "A Hater" (Flint, MI USA)
Kevin should just be thankful that Brittney is so clueless about him and enjoy the lifesytle of the rich and not so famous husband! This album is a waste of time and money.
Try it, you'll be surprised, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Diva
I like this album, it's far more interesting than many other CDs that have be released lately. You could almost call it a concept album, the concept being a response to all of the negativity around him - basically taunting America back. But he has an interesting sense of humor about the whole situation and I like his spirit. Lots of the songs are really quite enjoyable and catchy. Some of my favorites, "Lose Control" (which he performed at Teen Choice), "Privilege" (which he performed on Jay Leno), "Crazy" with Britney Spears, and "Dance With A Pimp" with Ya Boy. The lyrics tend to be a little repetative, which is why I'm only giving it 4 stars. But overall, I recommend this album, I think most people will like it more than they expected to.
Proof that bad things happen on Halloween, October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Amanda Richards "Modest to the extreme" (Georgetown, Guyana)
This former back-up dancer
Now known as Mr. Spears
Has brought us the worst album
To be released in years
Though he thinks he's Eminem
He's more Vanilla Ice
And after you've heard this one once
You wouldn't hear it twice
Just listen to the lyrics
And see if you agree
These are the worst songs ever "sung"
In all of history
The first single is "Lose Control"
A track that should be tossed
I would suggest this album
Be avoided at all cost
Maybe next year on April 1
(You'll get two for a buck)
Buy `em for an All Fool's joke
and watch your pals upchuck
Amanda Richards, October 31, 2006
Don't quit your day job (what is that again?), October 31, 2006
Reviewer: Pen Name (Columbia, SC)
I gave half of this CD a listen to see if the criticism Federline has been receiving is justified. I can quite clearly say that it is. The "beats" on this album are pretty sophmoric, but could be overlooked with good writing. There are no songs that really have a very catchy rhythm that you can enjoy, although a few have potential. The main problem with the album though is the awful lyrics:
"Im the talk of the town
Thats the reason why they stare
4 karats in my ear
If you look see a glare"
"When the pen hits the pad
It's in the left hand
Every single word is worth thirty grand"
"Every word out my mouth
Make headline news
I'm the best, I rule
Come test my tools"
Federline spends the entire album rapping about four things:
a) His wife
b) How much everyone hates him
c) How much pot he smokes / how much he gets drunk
d) How awesome he is.
I assume the fact that people are always "hatin' on him" gives him street cred and makes him tough in his eyes. I just can't understand it, as these lyrics would be laughable from ANY artist, not just him. He actually has a fairly decent voice, but it won't matter if he keeps using monosyllable rhymes that sound like they were written by a third grader.
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