Tweet
Warning: Full spoilers for the episode follow...
Now that's how you end a wedding.
Hahaha. So long, dick face!
Sure, it might have been more gratifying to see King Joffrey meet his end at the actual hands of someone who hated him, with him seeing the face of his attacker and knowing why he was being killed - like with Arya and Polliver back in the season premiere. But there's also something to be said for spending a full minute in agony, choking to death in front of hundreds of people, eyes bulging and blood oozing from your nose. I'll take that over a quicker death via dagger or sword any day.
And while George R. R. Martin still insists on ending each wedding we see with a gruesome death (or twelve), he's willing to make some concessions. As it turns out, the person we hated the most on this series was also on the murder menu. And for this brief moment, Martin comes off as an equal opportunity smiter. It's also worth mentioning that Martin himself wrote this particular episode - "The Lion and the Rose" - and in doing so got to bring Joffrey's death to life - as close as he could to how he once envisioned it in A Storm of Swords. I'll bring up Martin a bit later on in the review, but this episode was the great example of a source author being brought in to, all at once, replicate, rework, and re-envision their original story.
But let's dive into the wedding here. Because for those of you who didn't read the books and didn't know Joffrey was going to die, I feel like you must have known something was going to happen. Because those final minutes featuring Joffrey pouring wine on Tyrion's head, and then humiliating him by making him cupbearer (a shitbird to the very end!), were definitely leading toward a big moment. It just might not have been clear what that moment was going to be. Was Tyrion going to snap? Someone had to. Though Tyrion also probably hadn't had enough wine to truly lose his senses. But the episode had definitely done its work and showed us how Joffrey was literally surrounded by dozens of people, from different houses all over Westeros, who hated his guts.
"I now pronounce you King and Queen A-Hole."
In fact, everyone seemed to be in a foul mood in general, as we saw several character interactions at the reception that ranged from passive aggressive (Oberyn with Tywin and Cersei) to bitter (Jaime and Loras) to openly hostile (Cersei with Pycelle). Cersei seemed to be the the eye of the storm here, getting more and more annoyed with everyone as she came to terms with no longer being Queen. She even decided to bust Brienne's chops over Jaime - a man she no longer even seems to be interested in herself. It's worth noting too that the series has landed down firmly on the "Brienne secretly loves Jaime" side of the fence, which weakens her character if you ask me.
And in the midst of all this "revelry," was Joffrey - drawing everyone's ire with a foolish display of little people reenacting the War of the Five Kings. I did like how Olenna cried out for someone to help Joffrey when he was choking though. Because she knew what side her bread was buttered on. Minutes earlier, she'd been one of the folks taking offense to the dwarf display and now she was worried about Margaery's standing.
We can all wonder whether or not Joffrey was poisoned (mayhaps he choked on his own douche juices), though Dontos spiriting away with Sansa surely suggests foul play. And while it looks like Tyrion's about to be done up with extreme counts of treason and regicide, any good defense attorney could clearly state that Joffrey made Tyrion pour him wine from his own table. This being Westeros and all though, I'm sure "reasonable doubt" won't enter the picture.
http://www.ign.com/videos/2014/02/25...-family-teaser
Earlier on in the episode, the seeds were planted once again for a Joffrey/Tyrion showdown. Tyrion had gifted Joffrey with a book called The Lives of Four Kings and then Joffrey swiftly destroyed it with his new sword of Valyrian steel. For a moment though, Joffrey looked as though he might be willing to play nice in public, giving Tyrion a decent "thank you" speech for the book. But hell, I'm sure an entire feature could be written about all the times that little monster fooled us into thinking that he possibly maybe could have matured out of his jerkwad stage, only to immediately do something ultra-despicable right afterwards.
Also, still sticking with King's Landing before I head off to Dragonstone and the Dreadfort, Tyrion had to give Shae the boot for her own safety. Shae, who not only can't take a hint but also doesn't realize when someone's acting like they don't care. Again, Shae's scenes are so frustrating as she's stubborn to the point of not being able to pick up on any subtleties or subtext. Keep in mind, the way Tyrion banished her is the exact same way John Lithgow had to make Bigfoot run for his life back in 1987's Harry and the Hendersons. So if anyone wants to split hairs about why this episode didn't get a "10," I don't mind. But look no further than this scene. "I can't be in love with a whore!"
We caught up with Bran very briefly here. Enough to see him touch a "heart tree" and flash through a bunch of images which apparently gave him valuable insight. Even more interesting though were the goings on over at The Dreadfort -- Lord Bolton's hold -- which we got to see for the first time. And here was a case where Martin got to circle back and drum up some scenes that we never experienced in the books. Just like the Theon torture scenes from last season.
The Bolton stuff is a little trickier though since so many things have happened off screen and have only been spoken of that some of it may have swerved around some viewers brains. Like when Bolton mentioned to Ramsay that Moat Cailin, which essentially bottlenecks the North and the Riverlands, is being held by the Ironborn. We've never seen Moat Cailin on the show, nor has it ever been mentioned before. It's also probably a surprise that the Ironborn are still tinkering around in The North.
I'm guessing that it helped more than a few people out just to directly show us that Ramsay was Lord Bolton's bastard son. It was mentioned, complete with a cut between Bolton talking to Walder Frey and Ramsay, in the Season 3 finale, but seeing the two of them together still feels long overdue. There's a bunch of information here that I won't sift through (Locke's headed to The Wall to kill Bran, Rickon and Jon Snow, Ramsay's taking Theon to Moat Cailin to try and trade him for the land), but the absolute core of it all involved Theon now being Ramsay's chew toy. An obedient lap dog who officially goes by "Reek." A man so beaten and traumatized that not only does he barely flinch when Ramsay mentions Robb's death, but he also doesn't bare to nick Ramsay's face much less slit his throat while shaving him with a straight razor.
And of course Ramsay and Locke are best buds. Sadistic freaks stick together, right?
Over in Stannis-land, things could be going better. The brooding Baratheon brother still has eyes for the throne (which will grow even wider when he discovers Joffrey's fate, I assume), but he barely has enough food to feed his family. All he can do to pass the time and keep the faith is burn "heretics" at the stake, which one can only imagine is a bitch for morale. Though it does seem a staunch "Lord of Light" devotion is growing out of everyone's fear. One (slightly) redeeming quality that Stannis still possesses is that he doesn't outright loathe his daughter like Selyse does. He does however send Melisandre (who must be having an awkward old time these days) down to Shireen's dank, prison-y quarters to convert her to their new religion. All in all, Stannis is running to a stand still.
Odds and Ends:
- Not only was it great to see Tyrion and Jaime have their first scene together after three years, but MORE JAIME AND BRONN NOW! I loved watching Jaime, a man everyone assumes has no honor, get paired up with a "Knight" who fights dishonorably. It's the new Arya/Syrio "dancing" lessons. I know the episode ended with a giant event that could shake up the capital, but I certainly hope it doesn't stop this new duo.
- "The dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness."
- No Arya or Dany or Jon this week. Which is fine given the fact that freakin' Joffrey's dead (Huzzah!). But being two episodes in and not having Dany do anything important is giving me flashbacks to Season 2.
- Ramsay's still keen on hunting people for sport, I see. And he had a girl named Miranda, equally disturbed, by his side. (note: not sure if this is an HBO rejiggering of Myranda Royce of The Vale from the books)
- Ramsay told Lord Bolton that he sent an offer of trade to Balon, but left out the part about sending Theon's amputated dong along with the message.
- Highgarden's Mace Tyrell (father of Margaery and Loras) made his debut. Though he was literally told to buzz off and shut up at one point in favor of an Olenna/Tywin scene. (note: Olenna made reference to the Iron Bank. I don't recall it being mentioned on the show before, but some folks in the comments are saying it was brought up briefly last season.)
- That was Sigur Rós playing at the wedding by the way.
The Verdict
This outstanding episode of Thrones featured a shocking death that was actually an immense crowd-pleaser. Go figure. I'm sure it won't go down completely smooth as Tyrion will probably get framed for whatever it was that happened, but at least that rotten little beast of a king is gone for good. It wasn't a perfect episode as the bulk of its greatness took place during the final fifteen minutes, though some could argue that Joffrey's demise outweighs all. Also, we finally saw Lord Bolton and Ramsey together. And bearing witness to Theon as "Reek" was formidably jarring. At least the poor bastard's not getting sliced and diced anymore.
[/url]
[/url]
Comment