I haven't typed up quite all of what I have down on paper, but I'm going to start posting parts of the er, script. Most of which isn't actually going to be used, heh... This should give a better idea of what's going on than the current in progress flash movie. I believe this is roughly half of what I have on paper...
_________________________________________________
GSHI Battle 0
-------------
Warning: This does not accurately represent what the movie will consist of...
-------------
[Stars...]
While most of GSHI's staff is out battling evil, a hacker known as Munky will discover the most evil thing ever known.
Things will happen that should have never been possible. The hacker's world will be changed, in ways that cannot be predicted.
Damn this plot sucks...
Yeah, but at least it's not one of those 'save the world' ones...
You're right. I've seen those a few too many times...
It's almost like the people doing those decided that nobody'd expect another one, what with how many there already are.
[Bar]
RPGod: But still, there's no excuse for it.
Bartender: You know, we closed 6 hours ago. Why are you still here talking to yourself?
RPGod: Huh? I thought I was talking to you. Isn't that what drunks are supposed to do?
[Neanwhile...]
[Pot store]
Old lady: Umm...may I help you?
King Edgar 0: Oh, I get it... "Pot Store". Well, damn.
Akfek: Ehehehehehehehe... Sucker.
[A few minutes ago, in the forest...]
[The forest]
(insert scene here)
[GSHI HQ]
Lazy: Heh? That's funny...
LiquidManZero: What is?
Lazy: Oh, not much. It's just my legitimate idenitcal twin half-brother, Rought Item, send me an email... He's working in some weird kingdom called D Sign as the king's advisor.
LiquidManZero: I don't get it, that's not particuarly amusing.
Lazy: True, but after that it says he's going for world domination by the end of the month, and plans to rule the universe later this year.
LiquidManZero: Heh. That is funny. Is he really serious about it?
Lazy: It's hard to say. He was always insane in a bad way, being the black moogle of the family and all.
LiquidManZero: Black moogle? Should that be "black sheep"?
Lazy: Yeah, but there's only sheep in Final Fantasy III... Well, that and he really is a black moogle. Here, take a look at his picture.
LiquidManZero: Weird, he actually is a black moogle.
Lazy: Indeed he is. I'm not worried about his comments on world domination. What's the worst that could happen?
LiquidManZero: He could be faking the whole thing and we get stuck dicking around until somebody needs defeating... Ugh, or even worse... I can't even say it...
Lazy: At least hint at what you mean...
LiquidManZero: Alright... We might get stuck being attacked by Police...
GSHI vs. Evil ->
Narator: Many years ago, durring the first golden age of hacking, a battle was fought against the forces of darkness by GSHI. Years later, it was to be remembered as.. the GSHI Battle... GSHI versus Evil...
(RPGod: What? The forces of darkness are inherently evil now?)
Narator: Our story starts not on the field of battle, but with a bastard that is lazy (Lazy: Heh.) sitting on a couch...
[GSHI HQ - Lazy on couch, Magus runs in]
Magus (out of breath): Lazy... We've got a problem... (Munky: We're out of nachos! Somebody ate all the nachos...)
[Magus leans over to catch his breath] (Liquid: Yeah, I'd be out of breath too, if I'd just run up 127 flights of stairs...)
Lazy: Hey Magus. (Ace: Screw that, I'd just bust in the front door and take the elevator...)
Magus: Hey... Lazy... We've really got a problem... (Munky: I keep repeating myself, while badly acting like I'm out of breath...) (RPGod: Geeze... Was the script writer being paid by the word or something?)
Lazy: So what's up? (Liquid: Lazy... RPGod drank 8 of your beers... And ate my nachos while I was running over here to tell you...)
Magus: We've got a problem... The three most powerful leaders of darkness (Munky: The night itself wasn't involved...) have allied with the evil Link brothers (RPGod: Oh, I get it. The Link brothers are evil, but not the forces of darkness. They're evil by association...) They're planning on using the Triforce, Atma, and the Mana tree focus in unison. (Liquid: To order a pizza... to GSHI... and make them pay for it...)
Lazy: And that's a problem?
Magus: Not really, except they want to create a small hole in space, and escape into our dimension. (Munky: And all because ShinRa put a hit out for them after they lost 6 billion Gil at the chocobo tracks...) So they can expand their empire into the hacking world and beyond. (RPGod: First it was a dimension, now it's a world, not even two sentances away?)
Lazy: That's no good. We'll have to put a stop to this. (Munky: But Lazy, how will we ever do that?)
Magus: So the usual, then? (Liquid: Yes of course, we'll take them to the nearest bar and force them into a drinking competition with RPGod.)
Lazy: Indeed. We must insert outselves into the VG world itself with hacked powers (Lazy: Such as, the ability to get drunk off alcohol, and the ability to eat nachos...) like near invulnerability, and as many rupees as we can carry. (Munky: How many is that?) (Lazy: Should be... 1736, if the conversion rates are still bad...) (RPGod: At least it's only one rupee for a beer.)
[-2 hours later-]
(RPGod: Damn they were cheap... didn't even have some cheesy special effects to show what happened.)
[outside Hyrule castle]
Lazy: Alright, We go inside and kill every--[phone rings, Lazy answers it] Oh hey RPGod. [Pause] Okay, so you're at the bar? [Pause] Sweet, I'll be over there in a minute. [Lazy hangs up...] (Liquid: If I was doing a GSHI Battle movie, I'd have at least done a cheesy splitscreen effect there...)
Magus: So what did he want?
Lazy: Ahh, well... We're going to grab a few beers at the Kakariko, at least if you think you can take care of things here alone.
Magus: Yeah, ought to be easy. I'll just slip right in as they're about to make the hole, and fry all of them with Lightning 3.
Lazy: Awesome. I'll buy you a pitcher when you get done. (Lazy: Now that's just being lazy...) (Munky: Yeah, but is he being Lazy?) (Ace: He's not doing too bad, but the guy playing Magus sucks...) (RPGod: Who the hell says they'll use Lightning 3 out of all their supposed hacked powers? Whatever happened to using supernova?)
Magus: This shouldn't take long.
Lazy: Just call if you need any help... WARP!
[Lazy fades out, and Magus looks up at the castle]
Magus: Time to kick some bad guy ass...
[Magus walks into the castle...] (Munky: That was a bad line...) (RPGod: I told you this movie sucked, but you didn't believe me...)
[-Meanwhile, inside the throne room...-]
Link: This is so boring... Can't we just open the hole already?
Thanatos: Can't do it yet. We have to wait for the hero to get here and defeat him before we can finish this.
Link 2: Yeah, but why do we have to wait?
Thanatos: If we didn't kill the hero first, we'll all be kicked out of the guild...
Link: Who cares about the stupid guild... It's just boring...
?: Look, if we tried to do anything evil without being members they'd kill us all. Last time a non-member tried to pull that stunt, they got turned into an imp.
Link: So that's where all those little bastards came from...
[A phone rings, Thanatos answers it]
Thanatos: Yeah, what is it? [pause (Some heroic looking guy just walked in.)]
Thanatos: Well, put up a half-assed fight like you're being payed for. [(Alright... But I don't think...)]
Thanatos: That's right, you aren't being payed to think. [(THere's no way we can stop this guy.)]
Thanatos: Just attack him. Walk up to the guy an try to put your sword through him... [(He'll kill us all!)]
Thanatos: I'll come down there and kill you myself if you don't. [(Aw fuck, he's already killed the guards outside the throne room... He'll be in there in a second...)]
Thanatos: Damn. OK everybody, get in position. The hero is almost here.
[Magus walks in...]
Thanatos: Who the hell are you?
Magus: Don't worry about that. You'll all be dead in a minute anyway.
Thanatos: Somebody kill him.
[The Link brothers attack...]
Magus: Lightning 3! [pause] The hell?
?: What is this, some kind of joke?
Magus: Er... Ran out of MP... Hold on. [Magus calls Lazy] Hey Lazy. I ran out of MP... [(Lazy: That sucks. I'll come over after this beer.)] Hurry man, they're about to attack...
Link: Oh yeah...
Link 2: Let's get him!
Magus: Oh shit... Dodge! [Dodge fails, and magus gets stabbed from both sides.]
?: Make sure he's dead.
Link: Screw you old man!
?: Why you little...
Link 2: Don't make me stab you gramps.
?: Do you know how old I am?
Link: Who cares.
?: Agh!
[Lazy walks in...]
Lazy: You bastards! You killed Magus! (Ace: I'm not dead... But don't feel so good...)
Thanatos: Guards! Get him! [pause] Guards..? Where are they?
Lazy: Who, those dead guys outside?
Thanatos: Somebody kill him now!
Link: More stabbing!
[The Link brothers attack Lazy]
Lazy: Flare!
[The Link brothers explode...]
Lazy: Alright, who wants some? (Munky: Can I have your autograph before I kill you?)
?: Shit... We're fucked now. I surrender.
Lazy: Too late... Neon Swirl Thing 3! (RPGod: That's got to be one of the worst spell names I've ever heard...)
Thanatos: You'll pay for thi---
[The evil bad guys vanish]
Lazy: You OK there Magus?
[Magus gets up, and plucks some swords out of his clothing]
Magus: Yeah, but my cape won't be the same...
Lazy: That sucks. Now it's nacho time!
Magus: I could go for some nachos and beer right now. (RPGod: They just saved the world and the first thing they do is go for some nachos?)
Lazy: To the Kakariko! Warp! (Lazy: I'd never say a line like that...)
[-Back at the bar-]
Lazy: Bartender! Bring us some nachos and a pitcher of beer.
Bartender: What do you mean nachos? I've never heard of that one.
Magus: You're joking, right?
Bartender: I'll tell you what. If you tell me what's in it I'll try to make one.
Lazy: They're pretty much just tortilla chips and yellow cheese...
Bartender: Tortilla chips? I know we don't have any of those. Hell, I've never even heard of 'em.
Magus: Maybe they never invented Mexican food...
Bartender: Still want the beer?
Lazy: Yeah...
Bartender: Well, here's the last two beers in the house, on the house...
Lazy: You're out of beer?
Bartender: Your alcoholic buddy over there drank all of it, even the only bottle of whiskey we had, and immediately passed out. I was about to call the morgue before he started snoring.
Lazy: Well... Oh well. Let's go, Magus.
Magus: Yeah.
[Lazy and Magus walk out of the bar, leaving RPGod passed out on a table.]
[Some time later... After some bogus credits...]
[Throne room]
Akfek: Final Attack! Revive!
[Akfek stands up, and starts laughing...]
_________________________________________________
GSHI Battle 0
-------------
Warning: This does not accurately represent what the movie will consist of...
-------------
[Stars...]
While most of GSHI's staff is out battling evil, a hacker known as Munky will discover the most evil thing ever known.
Things will happen that should have never been possible. The hacker's world will be changed, in ways that cannot be predicted.
Damn this plot sucks...
Yeah, but at least it's not one of those 'save the world' ones...
You're right. I've seen those a few too many times...
It's almost like the people doing those decided that nobody'd expect another one, what with how many there already are.
[Bar]
RPGod: But still, there's no excuse for it.
Bartender: You know, we closed 6 hours ago. Why are you still here talking to yourself?
RPGod: Huh? I thought I was talking to you. Isn't that what drunks are supposed to do?
[Neanwhile...]
[Pot store]
Old lady: Umm...may I help you?
King Edgar 0: Oh, I get it... "Pot Store". Well, damn.
Akfek: Ehehehehehehehe... Sucker.
[A few minutes ago, in the forest...]
[The forest]
(insert scene here)
[GSHI HQ]
Lazy: Heh? That's funny...
LiquidManZero: What is?
Lazy: Oh, not much. It's just my legitimate idenitcal twin half-brother, Rought Item, send me an email... He's working in some weird kingdom called D Sign as the king's advisor.
LiquidManZero: I don't get it, that's not particuarly amusing.
Lazy: True, but after that it says he's going for world domination by the end of the month, and plans to rule the universe later this year.
LiquidManZero: Heh. That is funny. Is he really serious about it?
Lazy: It's hard to say. He was always insane in a bad way, being the black moogle of the family and all.
LiquidManZero: Black moogle? Should that be "black sheep"?
Lazy: Yeah, but there's only sheep in Final Fantasy III... Well, that and he really is a black moogle. Here, take a look at his picture.
LiquidManZero: Weird, he actually is a black moogle.
Lazy: Indeed he is. I'm not worried about his comments on world domination. What's the worst that could happen?
LiquidManZero: He could be faking the whole thing and we get stuck dicking around until somebody needs defeating... Ugh, or even worse... I can't even say it...
Lazy: At least hint at what you mean...
LiquidManZero: Alright... We might get stuck being attacked by Police...
GSHI vs. Evil ->
Narator: Many years ago, durring the first golden age of hacking, a battle was fought against the forces of darkness by GSHI. Years later, it was to be remembered as.. the GSHI Battle... GSHI versus Evil...
(RPGod: What? The forces of darkness are inherently evil now?)
Narator: Our story starts not on the field of battle, but with a bastard that is lazy (Lazy: Heh.) sitting on a couch...
[GSHI HQ - Lazy on couch, Magus runs in]
Magus (out of breath): Lazy... We've got a problem... (Munky: We're out of nachos! Somebody ate all the nachos...)
[Magus leans over to catch his breath] (Liquid: Yeah, I'd be out of breath too, if I'd just run up 127 flights of stairs...)
Lazy: Hey Magus. (Ace: Screw that, I'd just bust in the front door and take the elevator...)
Magus: Hey... Lazy... We've really got a problem... (Munky: I keep repeating myself, while badly acting like I'm out of breath...) (RPGod: Geeze... Was the script writer being paid by the word or something?)
Lazy: So what's up? (Liquid: Lazy... RPGod drank 8 of your beers... And ate my nachos while I was running over here to tell you...)
Magus: We've got a problem... The three most powerful leaders of darkness (Munky: The night itself wasn't involved...) have allied with the evil Link brothers (RPGod: Oh, I get it. The Link brothers are evil, but not the forces of darkness. They're evil by association...) They're planning on using the Triforce, Atma, and the Mana tree focus in unison. (Liquid: To order a pizza... to GSHI... and make them pay for it...)
Lazy: And that's a problem?
Magus: Not really, except they want to create a small hole in space, and escape into our dimension. (Munky: And all because ShinRa put a hit out for them after they lost 6 billion Gil at the chocobo tracks...) So they can expand their empire into the hacking world and beyond. (RPGod: First it was a dimension, now it's a world, not even two sentances away?)
Lazy: That's no good. We'll have to put a stop to this. (Munky: But Lazy, how will we ever do that?)
Magus: So the usual, then? (Liquid: Yes of course, we'll take them to the nearest bar and force them into a drinking competition with RPGod.)
Lazy: Indeed. We must insert outselves into the VG world itself with hacked powers (Lazy: Such as, the ability to get drunk off alcohol, and the ability to eat nachos...) like near invulnerability, and as many rupees as we can carry. (Munky: How many is that?) (Lazy: Should be... 1736, if the conversion rates are still bad...) (RPGod: At least it's only one rupee for a beer.)
[-2 hours later-]
(RPGod: Damn they were cheap... didn't even have some cheesy special effects to show what happened.)
[outside Hyrule castle]
Lazy: Alright, We go inside and kill every--[phone rings, Lazy answers it] Oh hey RPGod. [Pause] Okay, so you're at the bar? [Pause] Sweet, I'll be over there in a minute. [Lazy hangs up...] (Liquid: If I was doing a GSHI Battle movie, I'd have at least done a cheesy splitscreen effect there...)
Magus: So what did he want?
Lazy: Ahh, well... We're going to grab a few beers at the Kakariko, at least if you think you can take care of things here alone.
Magus: Yeah, ought to be easy. I'll just slip right in as they're about to make the hole, and fry all of them with Lightning 3.
Lazy: Awesome. I'll buy you a pitcher when you get done. (Lazy: Now that's just being lazy...) (Munky: Yeah, but is he being Lazy?) (Ace: He's not doing too bad, but the guy playing Magus sucks...) (RPGod: Who the hell says they'll use Lightning 3 out of all their supposed hacked powers? Whatever happened to using supernova?)
Magus: This shouldn't take long.
Lazy: Just call if you need any help... WARP!
[Lazy fades out, and Magus looks up at the castle]
Magus: Time to kick some bad guy ass...
[Magus walks into the castle...] (Munky: That was a bad line...) (RPGod: I told you this movie sucked, but you didn't believe me...)
[-Meanwhile, inside the throne room...-]
Link: This is so boring... Can't we just open the hole already?
Thanatos: Can't do it yet. We have to wait for the hero to get here and defeat him before we can finish this.
Link 2: Yeah, but why do we have to wait?
Thanatos: If we didn't kill the hero first, we'll all be kicked out of the guild...
Link: Who cares about the stupid guild... It's just boring...
?: Look, if we tried to do anything evil without being members they'd kill us all. Last time a non-member tried to pull that stunt, they got turned into an imp.
Link: So that's where all those little bastards came from...
[A phone rings, Thanatos answers it]
Thanatos: Yeah, what is it? [pause (Some heroic looking guy just walked in.)]
Thanatos: Well, put up a half-assed fight like you're being payed for. [(Alright... But I don't think...)]
Thanatos: That's right, you aren't being payed to think. [(THere's no way we can stop this guy.)]
Thanatos: Just attack him. Walk up to the guy an try to put your sword through him... [(He'll kill us all!)]
Thanatos: I'll come down there and kill you myself if you don't. [(Aw fuck, he's already killed the guards outside the throne room... He'll be in there in a second...)]
Thanatos: Damn. OK everybody, get in position. The hero is almost here.
[Magus walks in...]
Thanatos: Who the hell are you?
Magus: Don't worry about that. You'll all be dead in a minute anyway.
Thanatos: Somebody kill him.
[The Link brothers attack...]
Magus: Lightning 3! [pause] The hell?
?: What is this, some kind of joke?
Magus: Er... Ran out of MP... Hold on. [Magus calls Lazy] Hey Lazy. I ran out of MP... [(Lazy: That sucks. I'll come over after this beer.)] Hurry man, they're about to attack...
Link: Oh yeah...
Link 2: Let's get him!
Magus: Oh shit... Dodge! [Dodge fails, and magus gets stabbed from both sides.]
?: Make sure he's dead.
Link: Screw you old man!
?: Why you little...
Link 2: Don't make me stab you gramps.
?: Do you know how old I am?
Link: Who cares.
?: Agh!
[Lazy walks in...]
Lazy: You bastards! You killed Magus! (Ace: I'm not dead... But don't feel so good...)
Thanatos: Guards! Get him! [pause] Guards..? Where are they?
Lazy: Who, those dead guys outside?
Thanatos: Somebody kill him now!
Link: More stabbing!
[The Link brothers attack Lazy]
Lazy: Flare!
[The Link brothers explode...]
Lazy: Alright, who wants some? (Munky: Can I have your autograph before I kill you?)
?: Shit... We're fucked now. I surrender.
Lazy: Too late... Neon Swirl Thing 3! (RPGod: That's got to be one of the worst spell names I've ever heard...)
Thanatos: You'll pay for thi---
[The evil bad guys vanish]
Lazy: You OK there Magus?
[Magus gets up, and plucks some swords out of his clothing]
Magus: Yeah, but my cape won't be the same...
Lazy: That sucks. Now it's nacho time!
Magus: I could go for some nachos and beer right now. (RPGod: They just saved the world and the first thing they do is go for some nachos?)
Lazy: To the Kakariko! Warp! (Lazy: I'd never say a line like that...)
[-Back at the bar-]
Lazy: Bartender! Bring us some nachos and a pitcher of beer.
Bartender: What do you mean nachos? I've never heard of that one.
Magus: You're joking, right?
Bartender: I'll tell you what. If you tell me what's in it I'll try to make one.
Lazy: They're pretty much just tortilla chips and yellow cheese...
Bartender: Tortilla chips? I know we don't have any of those. Hell, I've never even heard of 'em.
Magus: Maybe they never invented Mexican food...
Bartender: Still want the beer?
Lazy: Yeah...
Bartender: Well, here's the last two beers in the house, on the house...
Lazy: You're out of beer?
Bartender: Your alcoholic buddy over there drank all of it, even the only bottle of whiskey we had, and immediately passed out. I was about to call the morgue before he started snoring.
Lazy: Well... Oh well. Let's go, Magus.
Magus: Yeah.
[Lazy and Magus walk out of the bar, leaving RPGod passed out on a table.]
[Some time later... After some bogus credits...]
[Throne room]
Akfek: Final Attack! Revive!
[Akfek stands up, and starts laughing...]