Shantae: Risky's Revenge Directors Cut Has A Smurf Fan Fiction In Its Text

[Dybbles]

I learned that Shanate: Risky's Revenge got a release on Steam. So I got it and started to hack it. While looking around for text, I came across a bunch of text telling a story about how Gargamel was the Smurfs real dad and that the Smurfs eat "Smurfportation Crystals" to open portals to other locations.

It's pretty fucking weird, but maybe they were bored or using it as text and font practice? Nothing in it is sexual.