I usually get about 3-4 spam messages
in my GMail inbox and about 600-700 in my Yahoo inbox per week. Since
these hard-working citizens of somewhere spend entire days typing up
messages in order to earn their “cut”, I have randomly picked some from
my spam folders for analysis. I will try to minimize references to
chimpanzees as much as possible.
From: Arcelia Rosio <muu18wtp@seanet.com>
Subject: YOU SAD BECAUSE HAVING A SMALL-SIZE GUN? GROW BIG NOW
Body:
goes side disappoint shining. drew the allow, am we window light,
again development fly evening or being, use miserable prison friends whom. end principle drew,
being human edge again she use. beautiful thats principle? he evening reference.
young prison parents beautiful. make use next. night human he letters.
miserable letters allow. profession already similar light?
This is one of those that totally baffle me. The first and only thing
that comes to my mind after reading this is “WTF?” The message has
absolutely no context and the body seems like it was written by some
retarded chimpanzee attending kindergarten.
From: “Casey Gregg” jei@mail.ru
Subject: Re: Invoice # 42517D
Body: burdock a buried be be miles it’s may atone ! some grandiose !
it’s city see or antarctica it see junta somebe adams the.
or caine , be innocent see in blowfish may it’s electrophorus ! the
grout the in amulet a some corrigendum somemay journal some. No, so its
here
Another other one of those retarded chimpanzees. This guy looks like he
gets a Z- on his report card for organization. His subject line says
“Invoice” but the body seems like the most exotic Haiku ever written.
From: “expectsuccess@hotmail.com“ expectsuccess@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Hi
Body:
Update on the program!
Things are exploding!
I can’t believe how fast this is building.
People are coming in faster than we can get them in! What a great problem to have!!!
…
Work with the Top Couple in the Industry.
Let us help get you into success for your family now.DON’T MISS THIS ONE! We are RED HOT and ROLLING RIGHT NOW!!!
To your success,
Quincy and Tamaran
This email was so long, it seemed like it was composed by an entire
army of chimpanzees while they were doing overtime. Seeing those names,
“Quincy and Tamaran” set off my bullshit detectors. “People are coming
in faster than we can get them in! What a great problem to have!!!”
Since when is this problem great? If I get random people coming into my
house I wouldn’t exactly call that “great problem to have.” Most
retarded statement ever. Coming from chimpanzees, it’s not that
surprising.
From: “Banana Deals” ss@ytcoffers.com
Subject: Give Love a Chance
Body: Are you Looking for Someone Special?Click Here Now:
Give Love a Chance.
Join the 1,800,000 new members waiting to meet you!
Come and Find them!
Click Here Now:
Why the hell would anyone sign up for a dating service called “Banana
Deals”? How cool does it sound to tell all your friends, “We met on
Banana Deals!!” Only a chimpanzee would be proud of that. And why
exactly would 1,800,000 members wait around to meet me? Can’t they pair
up between themselves? Don’t these losers have somewhere else to go?
Why does this service assume I don’t mind dating men or women? This
email is what I call a marketing tragedy.
From: “Michelle” info@degtin.com
Subject: about Christmas
Body:
It’s only 10 weeks until
Christmas. Yikes!
If you start now, you can make
a nice sleighful of cash just
in time to give your loved ones a
very special holiday this year.
First thought: who the hell plans ahead 10 weeks to buy Christmas
gifts?? Isn’t that pushing the expectations a bit? How can someone get
all flustered because, oh, there are TEN weeks left? Give me a break,
takes a week or so to go shopping for everyone you know unless your
friends list contains the names, “chimpanzee 36″ and “that cute chimp
at the zoo!! lol lol”.
From: “Motorola iTunes” Linda235@ezemails.info
Subject: DO YOU WANT A FREE IPOD CELL PHONE ????
Body: Get your free Motorola itunes cell phone!
Just type in your zip code!
Only chimpanzees would hope that typing in their zip code in some
random textbox hosted on a website underwater would earn them a free
cell phone for their effort. What the hell would they do with the zip
codes anyway? Oh right, get chimpanzees to toss (”deliver”) their
presents to you. For some reason only breast enlargement coupons get to
you. Various DNA samples are required for the free cell phone offer (in
addition to your address, phone number, etc.) Newsflash: No one will
ever deliver a free cell phone even if you’re a chimp.
This chimpanzee has the most obscure eye defect I have ever come across
in my life. Can’t even find ONE key on the keyboard. I believe that a
picture truly justifies my thoughts:
ugetab
Advertisers are so silly. Don't they know about proxomitron?
Open Wide! Blowjobs and Trick Jaws
If the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open. —Navjot Singh Sidhu
I have a small problem with giving blowjobs. The way my jaw is hinged
onto my skull makes it very uncomfortable for me to keep my mouth
opened wide for longer than 30 seconds. My jaw is just really tight and
it starts to ache and tire out pretty quickly when I have to open wide
like that. It's bearable, but makes certain situations like blowjobs. I
also get this really uncomfortable clicking in my jaw at times that
only makes the problem worse.
My question is this - how to I get past this little problem so I can
focus more on enjoying what I'm doing to my husband rather than feeling
like I'm having to struggle to keep my mouth open through the whole
thing? I really can't get more than the head of his penis into my mouth
because of this. I've tried switching between taking the head into my
mouth and going back to licking and sucking on the sides of the shaft,
but that also starts to wear on my jaw after a short while. Any
suggestions would be appreciated. —Helen
Here's few useful suggestions:
• The Liberator cushions are designed to help people of all sizes and
shapes, even those with back injuries and other medical conditions,
find comfortable ways to connect. Shapes like the ramp, the wedge, and
the stage are excellent tools for elevation, comfort, and creativity.
Turn up the heat with Liberator's sexy Black Label cushions equipped
with restraints for bedroom adventurers and seasoned spank artists.
• For the Girls - Ladies, stop trawling through male oriented sites and
check out the real deal. For The Girls is run by two women who know
what you want to see - plenty of horny hardcore sex, but with enough
respect and romance to keep us interested. No facial cumshots, no
disrespecting women (with all that 'cum sluts' and 'horny whore' type
jazz). This site is hot, hip and intelligent. Also includes an entire
online women’s magazine.
From Wendy
I have a trick jaw sometimes too. I have a condition known as TMJ. You
should see your dentist, he can make a mouth piece for you that you
sleep with at night. It helps a lot.
However, when I'm giving my husband a blowjob, the thing he loves the
most is how into it I am. It's not all about the deep throating and
everything else. I will play with myself and sit at an angle where he
can watch while I suck on him. Sometimes my jaw will lock up, if it
does, I just give him an erotic hand job or let him stick his dick in
between my breasts. I don't know what turns him on about that, but he
gets off hard when I let him do it.
From Marilyn
I love giving BJs, but my jaw gets tired. I start with a "tickle"
massage all over the genitals and generally tease him for awhile. I
lick and flick my tongue over the triangle spot, which he loves. I also
use "tricks" like getting the head wet and rubbing it all over my lips,
which doesn't take much work from me, but I know he likes it. My
boyfriend likes the head suck/ hand job a lot so I save the "work"
until I want him to come. Or, a lubed hand job is just as good for him.
He likes anything I do, which is nice. I ask for specific feedback, and he says, "I'm a guy; I like it all."
From MidnightBones
Interesting material. I have to admit that I didn't give my first,
real, meaningful BJ until this past New Year's Eve...I think I fit his
cock in my mouth once. The rest of the time, I was caressing, kissing,
sucking, petting, rubbing him against my cheek and neck. Being close to
him, made the BJ that more meaningful. As we were in the middle of
things, his bedroom door swung open, and he nor I were able to "finish"
but we are working at that.
I don't think it's the ability to fit the entire phallus in the mouth,
constantly, but the ability to make love to his member and not bore the
moment. Make it fun and creative...lots of hand movements, eye contact,
and kissing make for a lasting BJ - per my lover's comments.
Try it...it might just do the trick. Good Luck!
From Anonymous
After a waste of over 5000 bucks on having my jaw properly placed and
failed, I taught myself some tricks. It may sound crazy and perverted
but it worked for me as it prepared me for an actual suck. There are
two things:
One, buy a banana and practice on it. It's the closest thing to phallic
as possible and just be patient with yourself, have fun with dimension
and creativity; go up and down, along the sides and try penetrating
your mouth it. If you feel your jaw might click, stop and take a
breather.
The other thing, and most men ( although I can't speak for them ) might
agree, buy an ice cream cone. Oh yeah, I'm gone. I have an ongoing love
affair with cones and my boyfriend loves it, especially during the
summer months when it is really hot and humid out. We'll buy each other
cones, wait a little, I'll tease him and we just have fun, which leads
to amazing ejaculations for the two of us. Have fun and good luck!
From Margot
My last boyfriend and my current fiancé both claimed that they could
never get off from a blow job, and I proved them both wrong - with a
freaky jaw (screwed up by an orthodontist as an early teen) and
absolutely no ability to deep throat! My tip not only enthusiasm about
pleasing him, but enthusiasm about how much it pleases you.
I like to blow him at an angle where he can see me touching myself,
till he has to touch me, too. he goes crazy when I start moaning while
he's still in my mouth. he hardly notices I'm barely using my mouth;
it's mostly like an over-glorified hand job.
From Pam from Canada
I have my BScN in Nursing and would advise Helen to see a doctor or
dentist and inquire about Tempomandibular joint disease (TMJ). Symptoms
include pain in jaw area, limited movement of joint, clicking sounds
during chewing. Symptoms can be made worse by chewing, grinding or
clenching and , if bad enough can also include tinnitus (ringing in the
ears) and other ear problems as well as a locking of the jaw itself.
Do not force the jaw when locked! You may shatter the damaged joint. A
good rule of thumb is that if it hurts (and NOT in an erotic way!)
STOP. Your body is telling you it is damaged and needs fixing!
From Ghost Rider
In getting head or a blowjob, I have found that there isn't much
complaining done when the lady goes at it with gusto, regardless of if
it is strictly oral or involves quiet a bit of hand play. The main
thing is that she is a willing participant in the act and that makes a
big difference. Us guys are grateful and appreciate all of you ladies
efforts.
From Meri
I find that depth is definitely not everything when giving good oral.
Guys seem to respond most strongly to a combination of mouth and hands
of, but absolutely not limited to, their dicks. Use your tongue,
fingers, and entire hand, to stimulate the whole area, from pressure
just above in the bladder area, to balls and as far behind as he likes
it while you're sucking and licking whatever you can take. Mix it up,
alternating techniques as you go. Most do not complain about any of the
above, but guys, if you have something to add, we're always open to
suggestion!
From Jim
Hey, ladies, we're easy. Men want you to love their penises, kiss 'em,
lick 'em with love and reverence, and we're happy puppies (or more like
putty in your hands) Of course we may whine a bit about wanting more,
deeper, etc., but the real truth, and bottom line is, enthusiasm!
Ladies, forget jaw problems, it's not an issue. Just show enthusiasm
for our dicks in anyway that's comfortable for you, and WoW, that's
fabulous and we'll forgive almost anything at all.
And by the way, in regards to Pete's suggestion [see entry below]. This
is the worse possible position for a women. Very hard for her to show
any enthusiasm at all flat on her back with a pair of balls smacking
her forehead. And a cock sliding down her throat, unless she's a
professional, will gag her, and possible do damage to her throat - and
Pete did point that out. Best not go there. Or better still, try it
yourself with a guy and see how it feels before you ask her to do it.
Lousy! Been there done that. Horrid.
From Pete Smith
It's understandable that women get sore jaws while giving blowjobs; if men don't empathize, we won't get any!
There's one position that works really well, is painless (so say the
women who tried it with me), is easy on the woman and only requires a
little respect by the man to make it good for her.
The woman should lie on her back with a large pillow under her
shoulders, or over the edge of the bed, and drape her head backwards.
The nature of the position opens the mouth, and all the stress of the
lower jaw is borne by the neck stretching, so it's never painful.
It makes the woman's throat straight, so the man can enjoy this
position too. He gets a long, straight passage into her throat, and if
you have any length, put your hand on her throat and feel your cock
sliding in and out. It is such a turn-on I accidentally came in a
woman's throat the first time, causing her to choke on my come.
Thankfully she was forgiving.
Guys, remember she's VERY vulnerable in that position and may not even
be able to do a bite reflex to protect herself or push you off. If you
don't respect her health and safety, if you don't let her breathe, you
could cause her serious injury.
From Vol
If there are any good suggestions out there, please share them with me,
just in case another dick swings in my direction someday. The dentist
has to put a rubber block between my upper and lower teeth to work in
my mouth, but that wouldn't do the trick at all for fellatio.
Only way I've been able to relieve a tired jaw is to spend a lot of the
time getting the cock really wet and then using my fingers even more
than my mouth. I don't worry about trying to be Linda Lovelace; if all
he's looking for is a warm, wet cavity, hey, I've got a couple of
those. Just let me rearrange myself a bit.
From Rachel McIntyre
I'm very fond of long, leisurely cock-worshiping sessions that involve
lots of kissing, licking, and sucking. Each cock is exquisite in its
own special way and I love exploring its uniqueness with my mouth,
memorizing its shape, texture, and taste with my tongue.
This is not something I consider a task or a favor; I truly love
showing my devotion to a man's cock. It gives me great pleasure to
please him. I let him know it with every sultry look as I lick up the
length of his shaft and every involuntary moan that escapes as I place
a sucking, open-mouth kiss on the head of his cock.
I particularly love exploring the ridge around the cock head with my
lips and tongue, especially that spot beneath the head. And while I'm
busy licking, nibbling, and kissing his cock, my hand is gently
fondling his balls. I do so love playing with a nice set of balls!
Actually, once I'm satisfied that I've covered every inch of his cock
and made it very slick, I use my hand to slowly stroke him while I
spend some time licking his balls, taking each one in my mouth, and
lightly sucking.
After a while, I'll go back up to his cock and begin taking it into my
mouth and sucking, first the head and then a little more and more with
each downward motion. Of course, if your jaw begins aching, you can
always take a break and give him some hungry, teasing looks while you
swirl your tongue around his cock head and give it some sucking kisses.
Licking, kissing, and nibbling alone can bring a guy to orgasm, along
with stroking and mental stimulation, of course. But even if it
doesn't, it should take him a fair way there and minimize the amount of
intense sucking and bobbing that's necessary, if that's an issue.
As for deep-throating, I've yet to really try it, but I'd like to learn
to overcome my gag reflex which seems to kick in at about four inches.
I'm sure it's a matter of practice makes perfect.
From Julius
I could get by on hand jobs and tit-fucking and, and, and...Blow jobs
not essential to galactic rotation. Licking, kissing and nibbling are
not to be sneezed at! Anything that drives me to the mind-bending
moment.
From Bob
I'm with Julius. Going deep is overrated. Licks and nibbles, ladies, licks and nibbles.
From Jane
Holding your gob open for any length of time is not a natural behavior
(unless you are screaming, usually in relation to the kids and their
behavior). The hinge of your jaw should open freely and should be able
to move both forwards and backwards and sideways as well as open and
close. This motion facilitates masticating (I said MASTICATING!
geez...).
As this activity is affected by the muscular configuration of your
mouth, you can theoretically improve your performance by practice, i.e.
sit in front of the computer while you read ERWA posts (and we all do
this for many minutes several times a day). Please ignore the ridicule
from your family and friends as you do an impersonation of a large
mouthed Bass, then open wide and hold it. This will improve the
resilience of your jaw over time.
From Beth
You are the first other woman in the world I've heard admit to this
sort of problem. I have a similar issue. My husband and I have worked
over the years to develop a style that can accommodate my abilities.
So, here's what works for us.
Get hot at the same time. If I'm aroused, I notice the ache in my jaw less and I can do a lot more.
Don't struggle too much. If you aren't having fun, he won't either.
This rule can be bent if he's almost there. I'll put that little bit of
extra effort in for him at the end.
I can fit my husband's cock in the space between my teeth and my cheek
(think squirrel). He likes this quite a bit and it gives me a rest
while he still feels surrounded.
Use your mouth and tongue on the head and glans and use your hands for
the shaft. Men like the feeling of being surrounded and this
accomplishes it.
Look him in the eye and smile occasionally. This is the secret trick that never fails. If they see you having fun, they go nuts.
There you go - Beth's cock sucking advice for the range of motion impaired. Let me know if any of it works for you.
From Caroline
Easy blowjob. Just take the tip of his glans in your mouth, and suck
very tenderly. Get a good edible lubricant, and put it on his
(preferably shaved) shaft and balls. Very gently stroke from the base
to your lips. Mine can last about 10 minutes tops with that
technique... You don't need to get much of him in you in order for him
to get off. Personally I like the taste, but not everyone does.
Also, speaking psychologically, most guys get off if you're on your
knees or seated. I prefer an office chair, adjustable height.
From Paul
The thing I enjoy most about a blowjob is the oral teasing rather than
the Hoovering. The idea of a blowjob, or eating pussy I think is to
drive the partner receiving wild.
From Tory Lin
I have TMJ problems. Mine are pretty extensive, as I have had twelve
surgeries thus far on my jaw joints. One of the things they give
patients who have jaw surgery is a machine called a "Therabite" which
is a jaw exerciser. I am sure you can google the name and find a
website. It keeps my jaw in such good condition that it hasn't affected
my ability to give a nice lengthy mind blowing BJ. My boyfriend always
loved that the most and when I had the first surgery he was so afraid
he would never get one again! Talk about hysterics! He was there when I
went in for surgery. When the doctor came out to tell him how it went
he asked him if he had any questions. You guessed it. His first
question was whether or not I would be able to give him oral sex ever
again. The doctor laughed and said "probably" and also said it was the
first time anyone was ever more worried about that than anything else.
One exercise I had to do to strengthen the muscles was to take a stack
of tongue depressors and put them between my teeth. The object was to
keep adding depressors for height as I went along and also to lengthen
the time I had my jaw open. Basically you practice stretching the
opening and the length of time you keep it open. The Therabite just
does it all a lot easier. I am probably the most physical therapy
minded patient that doctor has!
Gangrene
Can you please explain gangrene?
- Sterling/ Florida
Mayo Clinic hypertension specialist Sheldon Sheps, M.D., and colleagues answer select questions from readers.
Answer
"Gangrene" is the medical term for death of tissue (necrosis) in part
of the body. It's a serious condition that requires immediate medical
care.
There are several types of gangrene. Symptoms depend on the location and cause. Causes include:
* Serious injury
* Diabetes
* Blood vessel disease, such as arteriosclerosis
* Surgery
A doctor may confirm a diagnosis of gangrene by signs and symptoms.
Additional tests, such as X-ray, magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and
computerized tomography (CT), may be needed to determine the extent of
the gangrene. Surgery also may be recommended to confirm and assess
gangrene.
Treatment depends on the underlying cause. However, treatment can't
revive dead tissue. Surgery or amputation often is needed to remove
dead tissue.
The Complete Truth About All-Natural Penis Enlargement
Do penis enlargement programs really work?
I have to admit that I used to be pretty skeptical about it myself. But
about a year ago my curiosity finally overcame me and so I decided to
give it a try.
Over the next 11 months, as part of a personal "experiment," I
faithfully tried just about every all-natural penis enlargement program
that I could find. I had to find out once and for all if this whole
thing was a scam or not. Well, the results are finally in, and guess
what? I've found that...
Yes, they really do work!
Now don't get me wrong. Not all of the programs actually worked. In
fact, a lot of the ones I tried were totally worthless. They didn't
seem to do anything for me at all.
But the good news is that a few of the programs actually did work, and those are the ones that I want to tell you about.
So why do I want to share this information with you? Well as you can
imagine, I'm very happy right now after adding almost 3 full inches to
the length of my penis (and a little over 1 inch in diameter). It's
such an incredible feeling that I want to share it with the whole
world. You can read more about what motivated me to take part in this
challenge in the next section.
Basically, I'm here to tell you exactly which all-natural penis enlargement programs actually worked for me.
To keep from getting sued by anyone, I can't really tell you which
programs I think are a total waste of money. Instead, I just don't
mention these programs at all.
The only programs you'll find mentioned here are the ones that have produced real results for me.
If it's not mentioned here, then it's safe to assume that I tried it
but that it just didn't work. I'm not saying that they won't work for
you - I'm just saying that they didn't work for me so I'm not going to
waste time discussing them.
Below I will give you a brief description of each program that has
worked very well for me. Just so you know, I'm not a doctor or a
medical expert - I'm just a guy who is looking for a way to make his
penis bigger. I hope you find my research useful.
I've always been fascinated by the idea of penis enlargement...
When I was a teenager, I used to look at a lot of porn magazines
(they're full of good articles)! But seriously, in the back of every
single magazine I noticed there were always ads for penis pumps,
weights and other crazy gadgets designed to make your penis bigger.
I remember that all of those ads claimed that their product would
increase the size and diameter of your penis by several inches or more.
I thought it sounded incredible! But despite my fascination with these
ads, I have to admit that I was also somewhat suspicious about their
claims.
After all, it just seemed too good to be true.
Plus, as I recall, most of those ads were really cheesy-looking and that didn't add much credibility to their offer either.
Nevertheless, I still felt tempted to order one of those products. I
couldn't help it. But every single time I planned to make an order, I
would somehow end up talking myself out of it at the last minute.
Partly for the reasons listed above, and partly because I never had a
whole lot of money either!
Then, something happened that would change my life forever.
About a year ago, I was surfing around on the internet late one night
when I came across an ad for an all-natural penis enlargement program!
Seeing that ad instantly rekindled my fascination with penis
enlargement. My curiosity was sparked once again. I couldn't stop
thinking about it. I thought back to when I was a kid and how
desperately I wanted to enlarge my own penis.
So I did some more research and found a bunch of other penis
enlargement programs for sale on the internet. In fact, it seemed like
they were all over the darn place. After seeing all these sites, I
remember thinking that this stuff might be for real after all!
All of the programs I found had really nice looking web sites, and they
all promised to do the same exact thing... give you a longer, thicker
penis.
Not only that, virtually every program I came across offered a full
money back guarantee to their customers if they weren't satisfied. Once
I saw that I thought to myself, "Alright, that does it! I have
definitely got to try out one of these programs and see if it works!"
Since they all came with a guarantee, I figured that I had absolutely nothing to lose!
But now came the tough decision... which program should I buy?
I couldn't make up my mind! I found it impossible to decide because
every single program claimed to be the best and most effective.
I had absolutely no way of knowing who was telling me the truth!
Obviously, they all can't be the best, right? So I started looking
around for someone who had tried some of these programs and could tell
me which ones actually worked. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any
information like that at all.
Instead, all I found were a bunch of shameless sales pitches which basically told me nothing!
At that point, I was really starting to get aggravated. I couldn't
believe that with all of the penis enlargement programs on the
internet, there wasn't someone who was actively testing them all and
rating their effectiveness!
But that's okay, because the whole stupid situation actually ended up giving me a pretty good idea...
I decided it would be a fun hobby to buy every single penis enlargement
program I could find for sale on the internet and then create my own
site telling people what I thought about them all.
I figured that there had to be other people out there who were running
into the same problem as me. After all, these penis enlargement
programs and web sites sound an awful lot alike. How can anyone be
expected to make an informed buying decision without having all the
facts and an honest, reliable source from which to base their opinion?
So, in essence, I created this page for you. Since no one else stepped
up to make a page like this, I kind of felt it was my duty. Plus, it's
been a lot of fun. And so basically, that's what lead me to create this
handy little web page.
As I'm sure you've noticed, there are no stupid pictures, ads or other
fancy crap here - just real, straight-forward information. It's kind of
a refreshing change, isn't it? Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
Some friendly advice before we begin:
I don't know what kind of physical shape you're in right now, but you
might want to consult your physician before beginning one of these
programs. Yeah, I know it's kind of embarrassing, but a big penis isn't
nearly as important as your health and well-being.
Also, please keep in mind that the results stated here are based purely on my personal experience. Your results might vary.
With that said, let's begin.
The Best All-Natural Penis Enlargement Programs
Massive Member is the best program I found. They offer the most unique
and comprehensive program of any I've tried. When you sign up for their
program you get full access to their online manual which is updated
periodically. Their system is 100% all-natural and their site was
recently voted the # 1 Male Enhancement Website by "Men's Fitness" and
"Male Health". Several of their techniques were totally new to me, and
I experienced tremendous results from them. Within exactly 3 weeks I
added 3/4" in length and 3/8" in girth! That's not a typo. That's the
quickest and biggest gain I had from any program. Their program is easy
to follow and very effective, and I continue to use it almost daily. I
also like the fact that it only takes 15 minutes a day, which is a big
benefit over the other programs. Overall, I have to say that this one's
my favorite. At $49.99, it does cost a little bit more than some of the
other programs, but you definitely get what you pay for. Their program
has a 100% 6 month money back guarantee and includes frequent updates
with 24 hour email tech support from their staff of trainers. And I
have to say that they provide the best all-around customer service that
I've seen from any online penis enlargement site. If you invest in just
one program, I'd make it this one. You won't go wrong. For more info
you can visit them here.
Rating: 5.0 Stars
Comments: (Best Results / Most Comprehensive / Best Customer Service / My Favorite)
Giant Johnson is a very unique site which offers membership access to 3
excellent male-related sites for 1 low price, including the Massive
Member site. Basically, the folks at Giant Johnson have researched the
best male-related sites on the internet and they have made a special
agreement with these particular sites in order to offer a special
membership deal. For only $79.99, they offer access to the Massive
Member program, which is the BEST penis enlargement program available
today. Plus, they also give you access to Stud Secrets, which is an
incredible online sex guide designed exclusively for men. Finally, they
also provide access to Advanced Seduction, which is a fantastic program
detailing how to meet and seduce women. I am very impressed with the
content of all of these sites and I commend Giant Johnson on offering
such a great deal for men. As you know, I firmly believe that Massive
Member is the best penis enlargement site today, and it's a bargain at
50 bucks. But if you have an extra 30 dollars to invest, then I'd
definitely recommend this special offer. At a combined savings of
nearly 50% off the regular membership price for these sites, it really
is a terrific deal. If you're like me, I'm sure you'll find a ton of
very useful information within these 3 programs. And with Massive
Member as part of their offer, you simply can't beat this deal in terms
of quality or content. For more info you can visit them here.
Rating: 5.0 Stars
Comments: (Excellent Value / 3 Great Sites for 1 Low Price / Useful Info)
Penis Video is a relatively new site offering an innovative all-natural
penis enlargement program. As their name suggests, the program is
filled with online video tutorials that are among the best I've ever
seen. For beginners, or for guys who don't like to read a lot of
instruction, the videos offer a great way to learn the program without
a lot of reading or wasted time. Though I haven't had the opportunity
yet to try their program for myself, a good friend of mine absolutely
swears by this program, claiming it has given him tremendous results
where other programs have failed. According to him, he's gained 1 1/8"
in length and 7/8" in girth after only 2 months on their program. Since
then, others have written to me reporting similar gains using the Penis
Video system. From looking over their site and their video, I have to
agree with their approach. And although their video program is great, I
am equally impressed by the special bonuses that they offer to their
members, which total well over $100 in value. Unlike a lot of programs
that seem to give away worthless "free bonuses", these bonuses are
actually quite good. At a cost of $59.99 for membership, the Penis
Video program is one of the more expensive enlargement programs you'll
find, but with their free bonuses and 6 month money-back guarantee,
it's a wise investment, especially considering the quality of their
video and the reported effectiveness of their program. This program
would be rated a 5.0 if not for the higher than average price tag, but
then again, smart shoppers will realize that the bonuses more than
offset any price difference. If you got the money, invest in this
program and email me updates on your progress - I'd love to hear more
about this program. So far, I really like what I see and hear. For more
info you can visit them here.
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Comments: (Lots of Free Bonuses / Impressive Program / I Like the Videos)
Penile Secret provides an okay penis enlargement program, though it's
nothing to get excited about - pretty typical. I can tell you that
their program is not as effective or in-depth as the others I mention
above (and no free bonuses either). I used this program a while ago and
it seemed to give me some small improvement in flaccid length, which is
why I mention it here at all. However, it wasn't until I started using
the Massive Member program that I really began seeing real results.
Anyway, they have a money back guarantee. My only caution is don't
expect much in the way of email support from these guys. The price of
their program is 50 bucks which is the same as Massive Member, and as
I've said before Massive Member is the best program out there so you
decide. You can visit them here.
Rating: 2.5 Stars
Comments: (Non-Existent Customer Service / Very Minor Results)
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
Now, over the past year and a half, a lot of guys have written to me and said:
"Hey Greg, thanks for the helpful web page - but what about those penis enlargement pills I see advertised all over the place?"
"Do penis enlargement pills really work?"
This is a very good question. In fact, due to the enormous number of
e-mails I get about pills, I've been doing a ton of research and
testing with various pills...
..and I think that you will be completely shocked by my findings!
That's right, I said SHOCKED.
But rather than get into it here, I've created a separate page
dedicated exclusively to talking about pills. I highly recommend that
everyone read this information about my research and results with pills
because trust me, it is very interesting and very important to know.
Click here to find out the truth about
penis enlargement pills
These programs have literally changed my life!
I know it might sound crazy, but I can't even begin to tell you what a
difference a bigger penis has made in my life over the past few months.
I now have way more self-confidence than I ever used to before, and
that's in just about every area of my life. I especially feel much more
comfortable approaching women.
And I know that my performance in bed has really improved too! The
techniques I practice have given me a lot more "staying power" than I
ever had before.
Plus, I can ejaculate a lot further than I could before which is
something that really impresses a woman. It's like I'm firing off a
cannon! I tell you, it's surprising how well those exercises can
strengthen your penis muscles...
And of course, the women I've been with so far can't believe how big I
am! (I'm not trying to brag here - this really is their reaction.)
Let me tell you, there's absolutely nothing better in the world than
giving a woman way more than she can handle in bed. Take my word for it
- a large penis really does drive women crazy. And having a woman tell
you (and all her girlfriends) that you're the best lover she's ever had
is an absolutely incredible feeling!
But don't just take my word for it. Give one of these programs a try
and find out what you've been missing. I've already done the homework
for you so you know that you're buying one of the good ones.
I hate to say it, but I waited almost 20 years before I finally got up
the nerve to try one of these programs. All I can say now is that I
wish I hadn't waited so darn long!
Who knows how my life might have been different had I done this 20, 10
or even 5 years ago. Judging by the boost it's already given me in my
confidence level and in my sexual performance, I bet it could have made
a world of difference for me.
But I shouldn't dwell too much on my past. What's done is done. But for
you, the future is wide open. If you're not totally satisfied with the
length or diameter of your penis then do something about it. Don't be
like me and wait 20 more years before you decide to try something. If
you're looking for a safe, effective method for enlarging your penis
and improving your sexual performance and stamina, then I can attest to
any of the programs listed above. I've experienced their amazing
results first-hand. All of them worked for me and they should work for
you too.
And like I mentioned before, each of the programs I recommend come with
a full money back guarantee so you've got nothing to lose and
everything to gain. Go on and give it a shot - you won't be sorry.
Please bookmark this page... and tell your friends!
I sincerely hope that my experiences have served to help you in some
way. I know I'm not the best writer in the world so I'd really like to
thank you for taking the time to read my web page.
I invite you to come back often to check for updates and new features.
I'm testing new programs on a daily basis and will continue to post my
findings on this web page. If you have any thoughts or comments
regarding my experiences then I'd love to hear them. Feel free to send
me an email. If I could ever get any better at using HTML, I'd like to
have a discussion board on here where everyone can post their own ideas
and share information. Maybe some other stuff too. If you've got any
ideas or suggestions about that, please let me know.
Thanks and best of luck!
ugetab
Random get only 4 out of 5 stars, but truely balanced chaos vs order gets a 7.5 out of 5 and three quarter half-hams.
-
Nobody needs me to tell them that it has been God awful
hot not just in the United States, but in Europe as well.
However, professionals in Nevada can thank God for air con-
ditioning. Because without it they would be out of business.
I just read an interesting story which said that
prostitutes in Amsterdam's Red Light District are finding
that business is slowing way down due to the unusually hot
weather.
One former madam said that few of the storefront rooms
rented by prostitutes have air conditioning, and it tends
to be ineffective where it does exist. She said that pro-
stitutes who try going outside to cool off are usually
chased back indoors by police.
And when the temperature goes up, the libido goes down.
Because, really, who wants a hot sweaty body lying on top
of you (or underneath you) when it is 90 degrees outside.
I guess business isn't good enough to afford state-of-the-
art air conditioning. You may pay top dollar in Nevada,
but at least you know where the money is going.
By the way, it turns out that a whopping 55 percent of re-
spondents to the latest poll would be willing to institute
a plan to reclaim sewage water for drinking. It's nice to
see so many of you are environmentally conscience.
Snakes on a Plane not only lives up to hype, it surpasses it: review
CHRISTY LEMIRE
August 18, 2006
(AP) - Snakes on a Plane famously wasn't shown to critics before
opening day. Something to do with letting the fans see it first,
allowing them to enjoy a purer moviegoing experience, blah blah blah.
And truly, the hype from the title alone has built to such a frenzied
din - or a deafening hiss, if you will - why bother screening it?
There's just no need.
Ordinarily this makes critics very cranky. But in the case of Snakes on
a Plane (or SoaP, the cutesy acronym by which it's become known) it was
the perfect choice. Because this isn't the kind of movie you want to
see in an intimate theatre with a handful of people. This is a movie
that is uniquely, ideally suited for the rowdy, crowded communal
experience, the likes of which we haven't seen since The Rocky Horror
Picture Show.
This is an event. It's a rare example of a film not just living up to
the hype, but surpassing it. And it's the best time you'll have at the
movies all summer, if not all year.
Granted, it's difficult to separate the two - the sensation of watching
the film en masse and the film itself - because they're so
intrinsically entwined. At a recent late-night showing, for example, a
guy wearing a Big Bird mask led the packed auditorium in spirited
Snakes on a Plane cheers - and this was during the trailers, before the
film had even started.
So you can imagine the hysteria when Samuel L. Jackson, as FBI agent
Neville Flynn, barks out the climactic line that's been well-known for
weeks now. (In case you were unaware, Agent Flynn expresses his
annoyance at the prodigious number of reptiles aboard this particular
747. Only he uses a really descriptive 12-letter word.)
Having said that, Snakes on a Plane does stand up on its own two, er,
feet as a thrilling action flick. It accomplishes exactly what it sets
out to do, and it does so in brilliant fashion. It's intense and
suspenseful, scary and gory, darkly funny and sometimes giddily
hysterical.
Director David R. Ellis (Cellular, Final Destination 2) and
screenwriters John Heffernan, Sebastian Gutierrez and David Dalessandro
faithfully work within the standards set by the fantastic disaster
movies of the '70s - films like The Towering Inferno and Airport 1975 -
without resorting to outright parody, which Airplane! so ingeniously
mastered.
(Jackson himself had promised that Snakes on a Plane would not be
so-bad-it's-good campy, that he wouldn't appear in a film like that. He
is a man who doesn't mess around, and he didn't lie. The movie is
indeed hilarious, but only when it intends to be.)
So you can figure out who will live and who will die just by the
obligatory bits of exposition about the characters as they board the
redeye heading from Honolulu to Los Angeles. The rude, condescending
British guy who hates Americans is most likely a goner, for example.
The two little boys flying by themselves for the first time will
probably make it, as will the woman carrying a baby.
Agent Flynn has commandeered first class as he escorts surfer-dude Sean
Jones (Nathan Phillips) back to Los Angeles to testify about a murder
he witnessed. Gang leader Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson), who committed the
bloody killing back in Hawaii (and apparently wore a white suit
specifically for the occasion) wants to make sure that Sean doesn't
make it across the Pacific Ocean.
So Eddie and his far-flung armada of thugs arrange to have hundreds of
exotic, deadly snakes packaged up in cargo upon this particular flight
- but not too securely - because, you know, an assassin couldn't just
bring a gun on board and shoot the guy. An assassin couldn't even bring
his own bottle of water on board if he were thirsty.
And that's part of what makes Snakes on a Plane so unexpectedly quaint.
Air travel isn't the most entertaining topic these days, and it hasn't
been for a long time. The film makes no political statements in that
regard, though; the passengers just get on board, returning from their
Hawaiian honeymoons or whatever, blissfully unaware of any potential
danger. Then when the snakes come slithering down the aisles, through
the bathrooms and into the cockpit, feasting on anyone in their path,
it's dazzling and heart-pounding and - dare we say it? - fun.
Among the people in the path of these venomous creatures are Julianna
Margulies as a flight attendant on her last trip (of course), Flex
Alexander as a rapper with OCD, Rachel Blanchard as a high-maintenance
blond with a lap dog, and David Koechner as the good ol' boy pilot
who's a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen.
Leading them all to safety is Jackson, who by now has honed this type
of performance to both a science and an art. He makes it look so
effortless as he jabs a cobra with a wine-bottle shard or spouts off
some tough-talk one-liners, it's as if he isn't even acting.
When there's nobody left to fly the plane, he's the guy you want at the controls.
Three and a half stars out of four.
What's avril lavinge listening to?
Avril Lavigne - Top 8
Fall Back Down - Rancid: "I had a copy before it came out and then me
and some friends met up with them and saw them play and we were the
only people who knew it because it was so new at the time."
Hey Ya - Outkast: "It’s the best song in the world right now and the video rocks."
Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls: "This is one of my favourite slow songs."
Ironic - Alanis Morrisette: "I love how this song was written with all
of the different examples Alanis uses of things being ironic…this song
is just really good lyrically."
It’s My Party - Lesley Gore: "I like this song because my mom’s name is Judy and my dad’s name is John."
Rape Me - Nirvana: "This is a great song to rock out to and get drunk and mosh to."
The Scientist - Coldplay: "Coldplay are great to listen to when you are with someone you have a crush on."
Wonderwall - Oasis: "I love the acoustic guitars in this song."
ugetab
Meh@Ads.
An occasional ad spam will wipe out some of those huge repetition posts idiot man and boy blunder have been adding.
Win bigAt The VegasLounge.
Playing online is the newCraze. You getFree$$ to play so that you can multiply your winnings!
http://www.broadbandonce.com
FACT: 76% of woman are not satisfied with their lovers size.
http://www.servicerestart.com
ugetab
gscentral.org for all your code needs?
What if I need a code from your database?
bank robber
how i legally rob banks:
We have all the online tools to further your education. Acquire the knowledge
necessary to further your career. CALL THE # LISTED ON YOUR SUBJECT LINE TO
RECIEVE YOUR PERSONALIZED INFORMATION KIT. U.S. residents only please.
Thank you!
Online Education Staff
emily
MY NAME ON MSN MESSENGER IS emily86hotmate PLESE ADD ME I THINK YOU"RE SEXY
PLS DISREGRD THE STUFF BELOW HOTMAIL SOMEHOW ADDS IT TO MY EMAILS
t_est@hotmail.com ‚ƃIƒ“ƒ‰ƒCƒ“’ÊM‚ð‚µ‚Ü‚µ‚傤 !
I am grad to receive your e-mail.
I live in Fukuoka, Japan.
I forget when I send e-mail to you .
If you do not care, please teach me your profile.
1. A narrow channel connecting two larger bodies of water.
2. A position of distress.
adjective
1. Narrow.
2. Strict.
[From Middle English streit (narrow), from Old French estreit, from Latin
strictus, past particle of stringere (to bind, draw tight). Ultimately from
Indo-European root streig- (to stroke or press) that's also the source of
strike, streak, strict, stress, and strain.]
Today's word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?w1=strait
-Anu Garg (garg AT wordsmith.org)
"Given its budget straits, the city is unlikely to afford residents
any more than an opportunity to go on the air, producing shows at
their own expense."
Voice of the People Deserves Air Time; Indianapolis Star (Indiana);
Jun 14, 2006.
Sponsored by:
Namix, providing smart naming solutions for products, services, and businesses:
http://namix.com
Get down to brass tacks, put in your two cents. Try Derivation, a fascinating
game about word and phrase origins. A great gift! http://entspire.com
............................................................................
From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: those
who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and those who bleed
copiously and secretly at any bad review. -Isaac Asimov, scientist and
writer (1920-1992)
spaniard
ESTIMADO CLIENTE DE BANAMEX
Banamex le comunica que con la entrada del año 2006
los servidores Banamex de procesos bancarios han sido actualizados
y están ya operativos.
Mantén tu seguridad Algunos Clientes nos reportan que han recibido
correos electrónicos a nombre supuestamente de Banamex pidiendo que se
acceda una página para actualizar información. Queremos aclarar que
este tipo de correos son falsos y tienen por objeto robar información
respecto a las cuentas y Claves de Acceso para hacer fraudes. Sin
embargo debido a la ingente cantidad de usuarios que usan Internet como
medio de pago seguro, nos vemos en la obligación a pedirle su
colaboración para una rápida restauración de los datos en las nuevas
plataformas.
Si no ha entrado en su cuenta bancaria en las últimas 12 horas se ruega
lo haga de inmediato para evitar cualquier posible anomalía en su
cuenta o futura pérdida de datos.
Puede entrar a su cuenta desde el siguiente enlace www.banamex.com o
para mayor comodidad hacer click sobre la imagen correspondiente a su
tipo de cuenta y seguir las instrucciones.
moreinfo
gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org
for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code
needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs - gscentral.org for all
your code needs - gscentral.org for all your code needs -
suggestion!
go get laid 13 y.o. girl
ugetab
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL SUFFERING.
Just because your site has the ability to inflict suffering upon all of
it's members for all eternity doesn't make it a good thing. I believe
there's a place like that already named 'Hell', so he's even ripping
off the guys in hell, who worked so hard to get the reputation they
have.
NotRune
rune just updated gscentral.org while you guys were busy stealing codes!
winningisfun
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your site
i wouldnt want to be your sitei wouldnt want to be your site
ugebaby
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
GSCentral.org is ETERNAL.
ugetab
Come off it. I've got about 1000 of your own FTWs left that I have the option of filling in with accurate descriptions such as:
Fears The Wonderful
Frees The Wretched
Feels Too Woeful
Fears This Website
Fights To Worsen
Flies Towards Witlessness
Fails To Win
I'd say that GSCentral.org is 'Fun Through Wretching', but the other FTWs I've got are probably more accurate.
GSCentral.org FTW!
In this case, I'd say that's a 'Fails to Win' FTW.
viva:
n : an examination conducted by word of mouth
I believe we've been attempting to do that, but .org just hasn't shown
up to answer the questions anymore. I'd give their test an 'F' on
participation alone, not to mention the fact that they forgot to answer
most of the test questions.
Hilarious Spam
I usually get about 3-4 spam messages in my GMail inbox and about 600-700 in my Yahoo inbox per week. Since these hard-working citizens of somewhere spend entire days typing up messages in order to earn their “cut”, I have randomly picked some from my spam folders for analysis. I will try to minimize references to chimpanzees as much as possible.From: Arcelia Rosio <muu18wtp@seanet.com>
Subject: YOU SAD BECAUSE HAVING A SMALL-SIZE GUN? GROW BIG NOW
Body:
goes side disappoint shining. drew the allow, am we window light,
again development fly evening or being, use miserable prison friends whom. end principle drew,
being human edge again she use. beautiful thats principle? he evening reference.
young prison parents beautiful. make use next. night human he letters.
miserable letters allow. profession already similar light?
This is one of those that totally baffle me. The first and only thing that comes to my mind after reading this is “WTF?” The message has absolutely no context and the body seems like it was written by some retarded chimpanzee attending kindergarten.
From: “Casey Gregg” jei@mail.ru
Subject: Re: Invoice # 42517D
Body: burdock a buried be be miles it’s may atone ! some grandiose ! it’s city see or antarctica it see junta somebe adams the.
or caine , be innocent see in blowfish may it’s electrophorus ! the grout the in amulet a some corrigendum somemay journal some. No, so its here
Another other one of those retarded chimpanzees. This guy looks like he gets a Z- on his report card for organization. His subject line says “Invoice” but the body seems like the most exotic Haiku ever written.
From: “expectsuccess@hotmail.com“ expectsuccess@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Hi
Body:
Update on the program!
Things are exploding!
I can’t believe how fast this is building.
People are coming in faster than we can get them in! What a great problem to have!!!
…
Work with the Top Couple in the Industry.
Let us help get you into success for your family now.DON’T MISS THIS ONE! We are RED HOT and ROLLING RIGHT NOW!!!
To your success,
Quincy and Tamaran
This email was so long, it seemed like it was composed by an entire army of chimpanzees while they were doing overtime. Seeing those names, “Quincy and Tamaran” set off my bullshit detectors. “People are coming in faster than we can get them in! What a great problem to have!!!” Since when is this problem great? If I get random people coming into my house I wouldn’t exactly call that “great problem to have.” Most retarded statement ever. Coming from chimpanzees, it’s not that surprising.
From: “Banana Deals” ss@ytcoffers.com
Subject: Give Love a Chance
Body: Are you Looking for Someone Special?Click Here Now:
Give Love a Chance.
Join the 1,800,000 new members waiting to meet you!
Come and Find them!
Click Here Now:
Why the hell would anyone sign up for a dating service called “Banana Deals”? How cool does it sound to tell all your friends, “We met on Banana Deals!!” Only a chimpanzee would be proud of that. And why exactly would 1,800,000 members wait around to meet me? Can’t they pair up between themselves? Don’t these losers have somewhere else to go? Why does this service assume I don’t mind dating men or women? This email is what I call a marketing tragedy.
From: “Michelle” info@degtin.com
Subject: about Christmas
Body:
It’s only 10 weeks until
Christmas. Yikes!
If you start now, you can make
a nice sleighful of cash just
in time to give your loved ones a
very special holiday this year.
First thought: who the hell plans ahead 10 weeks to buy Christmas gifts?? Isn’t that pushing the expectations a bit? How can someone get all flustered because, oh, there are TEN weeks left? Give me a break, takes a week or so to go shopping for everyone you know unless your friends list contains the names, “chimpanzee 36″ and “that cute chimp at the zoo!! lol lol”.
From: “Motorola iTunes” Linda235@ezemails.info
Subject: DO YOU WANT A FREE IPOD CELL PHONE ????
Body: Get your free Motorola itunes cell phone!
Just type in your zip code!
Only chimpanzees would hope that typing in their zip code in some random textbox hosted on a website underwater would earn them a free cell phone for their effort. What the hell would they do with the zip codes anyway? Oh right, get chimpanzees to toss (”deliver”) their presents to you. For some reason only breast enlargement coupons get to you. Various DNA samples are required for the free cell phone offer (in addition to your address, phone number, etc.) Newsflash: No one will ever deliver a free cell phone even if you’re a chimp.
From: “Paul Foley” nqexuahyf@abcautosf.com
Subject: HELLO
Body:
+ DIAAF***DIAAF***DIAAF***DIAAF***DIAAF***DIAAF +
+++++++++++NEW FEATURED COMPANY++++++++++++
DIAMANT FILMS (OTCBB: DIAAF)
CURRENTLY: $0.009
RECENTLY: $0.05
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This chimpanzee has the most obscure eye defect I have ever come across in my life. Can’t even find ONE key on the keyboard. I believe that a picture truly justifies my thoughts: